As much as some of us might challenge it, as much as we might try to “be the change” we want to see in the world, the reality of the situation is that the traditional narrative is still the assumed default for much of mainstream society. At least based on my experience as an involved parent in Canada, and from what I’ve heard and seen from our American neighbors. All else held equal in a “traditional” nuclear family, the mother is the default caregiver and the father is the default breadwinner. And at least some of this has to do with the relative availability of paternity leave.
Yes, there are more working moms than ever before, just as there are more stay-at-home dads than ever before. Realistically, many families today — particularly those in high cost-of-living urban areas like Metro Vancouver — need to be dual income in order to pay the bills and make things work. The cost of childcare can be a tremendous burden, quickly wiping out a full-time income. But, in Canada, at least for the first year or so, you can apply for maternity leave and parental leave benefits, right? Well, it’s a little more complicated than that.
How Paternity Leave Works in Canada
The traditional narrative, explicitly stated or not, assumes that the mother is going to stay home with the baby while the father goes to work. In many cases, the new dad doesn’t take any paid (or unpaid) paternity leave at all, partly due to an unspoken social stigma. Even in situations where such leave is available, it’s almost actively discouraged. Because the mother should be taking all the paid leave available, right?
As I summarized in my post about paternity leave in Canada last year, standard parental leave allows for:
Up to 40 weeks, but one parent cannot receive more than 35 weeks of standard benefits
In theory, two parents can share those 40 weeks equally. Mom takes 20 weeks and Dad takes 20 weeks. In practice, that is rarely the case. More likely than not, the mother will maximize the 35 weeks of standard parental benefits and the father, if he takes any paternity leave at all, might take up to the 5 remaining weeks. That’s what I did with our second child.
(Side note: Maternity leave, for the person giving birth, is a separate benefit. That’s for a maximum of up to 15 weeks, at a benefit rate of 55% up to a weekly maximum of $595.)
Consequences of Default Parent Thinking
So, what does this “default parent” situation actually mean? In effect, the mother will take the full maternity leave and parental leave benefits while the father continues to work. When the year is up, in some cases, the mother continues as a stay-at-home mom. Maybe they wait until the child starts school.
But, by then, the mother has accumulated (at least) a five year “gap” in her resume. Perhaps she only goes back part-time. The opportunity cost is significant, above and beyond lost potential income. Meanwhile, Dad hasn’t skipped a beat.
By comparison, what happens if companies, government and society at large actively encourage fathers to be more involved with childcare? What happens when Mom is no longer assumed to be the default parent? With more engaged fathers, moms can return to the workforce sooner and more readily, if that’s what they want to do. Paternity leave won’t solve gender gap issues on its own, but it can help.
How Parental Leave Works in Sweden
Now, I’m not going to say that life in Scandinavia is perfect. For starters, I’ve never been there. However, it’s clear enough that Scandinavian and Nordic countries are generally more egalitarian. Maybe it has something to do with the Law of Jante, but they’re also consistently among the happiest countries in the world too. And part of that might be due to how they handle maternity and paternity leave benefits.
Take Sweden as a prime example:
Parental benefit is 240 days per parent, a total of 480 days and it is distributed as you choose between the parents. You can start to take the minimal level per day (SEK 180/day) only when 180 sickness benefit qualifying days have been taken for the child. It is also possible to transfer up to 150 days to the other parent. However, 90 sickness benefit qualifying days are reserved for each parent.
While similar to Canada in some ways, Sweden’s parental leave policy goes further. The official wording explicitly states first that you get 240 days per parent. By doing so, the policy establishes the default understanding that this parental benefit should be shared equally. You can then “transfer up to 150 days to the other parent.” The remaining 90 days are very much a “use it or lose it” situation. Three months is more than twice the 5 weeks of “use it or lose it” standard parental benefit in Canada.
Normalizing Modern Fatherhood, Empowering Modern Mothers
How parental leave benefits work in a country is one indication of gender equality. According to the Gender Inequality Index (2020), Sweden is the third most gender equal country in the world. You’ll also find Denmark, Netherlands, Norway and Finland among the top 10. They all have strong parental leave benefit programs. Canada is tied for 17th place… with United Arab Emirates. For context, the United States is tied for 46th place with the former Soviet republic of Moldova.
To this day, even here in Canada, many people continue to view parental leave, childcare, and other related topics as issues only for mothers, only for women. And the only way we can help women is to help them directly. Let’s extend maternity leave to 18 months (but still only pay the same total amount). While I certainly believe we can do more, I also believe that helping dads be dads is ultimately empowering for mothers too.
If we want to debunk the myth of Supermom, then we need more dads to be more involved. And paternity leave can be one part of that equation. It’s a feminist issue, because it’s an equality issue.
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