Are you feeling overwhelmed by everything you have to do? And yet it still feels like you’re coming up short? Like you’re letting everyone down, yourself included? It can often feel like it’s all too much to handle. I’ve been there. I am there. It’s something I’ve been thinking about a lot lately. Maybe too much. So, rather than let those thoughts continue to live rent-free in my brain, I thought (wow, that’s a lot of overthinking) to put pen to paper. Or fingers to keyboard.

This notion of “too much is still not enough” is rearing its ugly head in increasingly more places. It’s infiltrated so many aspects of my life. You probably feel the same way. And even when we recognize the problem, we feel compelled to keep feeding the beast. Why? Why are we doing this to ourselves?

Are We Overscheduling Our Kids?

I’m just as guilty of this as any other parent these days. When I was little, I hardly had any extracurricular activities at all. By comparison, there’s mounting pressure on all parents today to overschedule their kids. And this leads us to extreme lengths to get our kids into those scheduled activities and structured programs.

Last month, I aired my frustrations on Twitter about how I was having a hard time getting my daughter registered for some local sports and recreation programs. That tweet got a bit of attention. This led to a radio interview on CityNews 1130, plus a TV segment on the CityNews 6 o’clock news. I’ve embedded that below. Gloria Macarenko also interviewed me on the same subject for the CBC Radio On the Coast program.

Not that long ago, my now 8-year-old was enrolled in a total of zero programs outside of school. We were 100 percent okay with that… until someone made us question that decision. Another parent asked what classes my then-kindergartner was taking outside of school. Like, the expectation is that she’d be signed up for all sorts of things, but she wasn’t. “We weren’t doing enough,” they told us without actually telling us.

Perhaps they were wrong. Perhaps we were wrong for giving in to that kind of societal peer pressure. But here, a few scant years later, she’s currently enrolled in three programs: two at community centers, one as an after-school program. And we’re looking into summer programs this week. Plural. It’s a lot. It’s too much. And yet, it’s still not enough?

If we don’t push our kids, are we doing them a disservice? If she lacks the scheduled discipline of structured classes and programs, will she automatically resort to too much screen time to alleviate that boredom? Then, will we have failed as parents? The honest, obvious answer is a resounding no. And yet, that guilt remains, impossible to quell.

Are We Overextending Ourselves?

This idea of trying to do too much and yet feeling like it’s not enough, of course, extends beyond parenting. For so many of us, it applies to our working lives too. And all the other hats we wear. We keep saying yes, because saying no implies some sort of inadequacy. And in this culture of hyperachievement, winners don’t say no…. right? There’s so much pressure, both self-inflicted and not-so-quietly pushed by social expectations, to do more, earn more… be more.

We should work more to make more money. Yes, give us more responsibility so we can climb that corporate ladder or earn some sense of perceived prestige. Load on that achievement and success, even if it’s a wholly insatiable appetite for success or accolades. Maybe you’ve set an income or other financial target, only to move the goalpost the moment you get there. All while trying to juggle countless other responsibilities. Some or many of which you brought upon yourself.

via GIPHY

We are now halfway through April. And this is only my fifth blog post of 2023. Turn the clock back five years to 2018 and I had about 60 blog posts by mid-April. That’s a 12-fold difference. Nothing to sneeze at. I wrote over 200 blog posts in 2018. By comparison, I’m on pace for about 15 posts this year. And I feel awful about it, even though I know this blog has necessarily moved a bit down the priority list for me.

I’ve acknowledged that publicly and even wrote about that here. And yet, I still feel bad. But, if I re-dedicate myself to this blog, then my day job will likely suffer. And how I perceive myself as a competent and engaged parent will suffer. It’s too much. But also, it’s not enough. How do we break this cycle?

It’s All Too Much: Is It Ever Gonna Be Enough?

Should we just take a page out of Kevin Malone’s playbook and throw in the towel? Give up any attachment to expectations and let the chips (or chili) fall where they may?

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We yearn for more external validation. We want more stuff, more likes, more money, more experiences, more happiness. Maybe Metric summed it up best, all those years ago.

Is it ever gonna be enough
Is it ever gonna be enough
Is it ever gonna be enough
Is it ever gonna be enough
Is it ever gonna be enough
Is it ever gonna be enough
More and more, more and more, more and more
More and more, more and more, more and more and more and more
More and more, more and more, more and more, more and more and
More and more, more and more, more and more and more and more

You get the idea. Intellectually, most of us understand we need to stop measuring our lives by our productivity. By how many boxes we tick or how big those boxes get. The impossible challenge is figuring out how to do that, while still maintaining a quality of life we can be happy with. Because, you and I both know that we’re just going to move the goalpost again anyway.

Now, let me get ready to register the kid for more extracurriculars before lining up a few more reels for Instagram and shorts for YouTube. Don’t forget to like, comment, share and subscribe?