Col. Jessep: You want answers?
Lt. Kaffee: I think I’m entitled.
Jessep: You want answers?!
Kaffee: I want the truth.
Jessep: YOU CAN’T HANDLE THE TRUTH!

Next year marks the 30th anniversary of A Few Good Men, starring Jack Nicholson and Tom Cruise. Of all the hard truths I’m going to discuss today, perhaps the hardest pill to swallow is the fact that 1992 will indeed be thirty years ago in a little over two weeks. I know. I can hardly believe it either. All this time later, that iconic scene is still firmly ingrained in all our memories, even if we don’t remember much else from the Aaron Sorkin legal drama.

Today’s exploration of hard truths may not carry the weight and gravitas of a U.S. court-martial, but they are perhaps much more applicable to our day-to-day lives. Just as I’ve taken some time to reflect on key lessons from my 30s, like how no one cares as much as you do, I’ve also had to come to terms with some hard truths. Dig beneath the surface, don’t take these for granted, and give them the time they deserve.

You can handle it.

Simple Doesn’t Mean Easy

If you look up the word “simple” in your favorite thesaurus, you’re probably going to find the word “easy” among the list of synonyms. While the definitions of these words are related, they certainly don’t mean the same thing. Especially when it comes to figuring out how best to approach life and all its challenges.

Indeed, what you’ll find is that the simplest of life lessons can actually be the hardest to follow. On some level, I think we all know that we should try to “live in the present” rather than dwell on the past or stress about the future. Of course, we shouldn’t worry what other people think, because their opinion ultimately doesn’t matter… except we all obsess over likes and comments and maintaining appearances. Just because something is simple doesn’t mean it’s easy to understand or do.

Past Performance and Future Returns

Hang around finance and investment people long enough and you’ll inevitably hear the same disclaimer over and over again. “Past performance does not necessarily predict future results.” I think the SEC may have standardized that particular verbiage. It’s another one of those hard truths that we all take for granted. “Of course that’s true,” we tell ourselves, right before we proceed to predict future results based on past performance.

This applies well beyond the cryptic world of mutual funds. It’s because the past is all we have when it comes to predicting the future. That’s called inductive reasoning. If you visit Costco on a Sunday and witness the absolute mayhem, you can only assume that next Sunday will be the same. By contrast, you go in the middle of the day on Wednesday and enjoy the mostly empty parking lot. So, next time, you choose to go on Wednesday instead of Sunday.

This is a handy tool, but it is inherently flawed. We have to accept the fact that just because something worked before doesn’t mean it’ll work again. It’s perfectly plausible to encounter a Costco zoo on Wednesday too.

“But It Worked for Jeff”

This is almost the same as the previous point. In this case, just because it worked for someone else doesn’t mean it’ll work for you. Many people are obsessed with the daily habits of hugely successful people. They want to know how Jeff Bezos, Elon Musk and Bill Gates spend their day. If they can only replicate Warren Buffett’s daily routine, surely they’ll amass the same $100 billion net worth as the Berkshire Hathaway CEO. Right?

Again, many of us may reply, “Of course not!” And yet, we do this all the time. We try to emulate the habits and paths to success of other people, only to scratch our heads when it doesn’t work for us. The “magic formula” for growing your Instagram following, growing your wealth, extending your influence, or achieving happiness doesn’t exist. You ultimately have to find your own way.

Conflating Productivity With Effectiveness

Between hustle culture and toxic positivity, society says that we have to crush it. That means putting in more hours and grinding your nose to the workstone. If I just do more, then I’ll be successful. Like other truths that have to do with professional success, here’s one that almost makes intuitive sense but is ultimately to your detriment.

Doing more isn’t the same as doing better. Or doing the right thing. If you’re digging your own grave, the solution isn’t to dig faster. Sure, you may move a whole lot of dirt, but that’s not how you get out of the hole. Rather, you need to first stop digging. Just because it’s “what I’ve always done” doesn’t mean you should keep doing it.

The Problem With Opportunity Everywhere

It really wasn’t all that long ago that your career trajectory was already determined before you were born. If your parents had a farm, you’d grow up to work on that farm. If you were born into a mining community, there was a very good chance you’d grow up to work in the mining industry. Times have changed, and circumstances surrounding privilege and affluence aside, many young people have many possible options.

Maybe you want to be a nurse. Or an artist. Or a fire fighter. It’s up to you. Perhaps while working a day job in accounting, you dabble with being a podcaster and YouTuber on the weekend. That’s cool too. There is opportunity everywhere and barriers to entry keep getting lower for a lot of said opportunities. On some level, you can do anything. But — and this is a big but — you can’t do everything, at least not at the same time.

You have to choose. There are only so many hours in the day and there’s only so much of you. Speaking for myself, as I’ve devoted more of my time to parenting and my day job, I’ve spent less time on this blog. And, I have to be okay with that.

Do the Right Thing

I finish up this list of hard truths with two observations that mirror one another. They’re two sides of the same coin.

First, even if you do everything “right,” you might not “win,” regardless of how you choose to define what “win” means. Moving away from career-related examples for a moment, let’s talk about raising kids. They say that if you want your children to eat a balanced diet, it’s a good idea to introduce baby-led weaning. As the kids get older, you should involve them more in the selection and cooking process.

That may be true in theory. Making that all work in practice is a whole other ballgame. Even if you do all the right things, little Sally might only want chicken nuggets and buttered spaghetti.

Rewarding Failure by Accident

Here’s the flip side. Even if you do everything “wrong,” you might still “win.” Out of sheer luck, your YouTube video could go viral. Maybe you didn’t upload a custom thumbnail, you didn’t use the right tags, you didn’t optimize the description, and you didn’t promote it on any of your other social channels. And yet, it still blows up. That could happen.

This is perhaps the most dangerous of the hard truths, because it can “reward” your less than ideal behavior. It could falsely confirm and fool yourself into thinking that you did everything right. Then, you go on to disseminate “bad” advice to everyone who asks how you did it. The truth is that some successful people don’t deserve it, and many less successful people aren’t getting what they deserve.

Life isn’t fair. And sometimes — oftentimes, actually — our actions and their consequences fall under many shades of grey. Just like Jack Nicholson’s Colonel Nathan R. Jessep. Would you have ordered the Code Red?