Tomorrow marks a beginning. It also marks an end. You see, I start the final year of my 30s tomorrow. And, to be perfectly honest, I’m not sure how I feel about it. Or how I’m supposed to feel about it. We’ve likely all heard or felt some version of this before. As kids, when we look up to someone in their late 30s or early 40s, we assume they’ve got their act together. That they’ve got it all figured out. But, when we get there ourselves, we realize we’re all just figuring it out as we go along.

And so, as I begin the final year of when I can say I’m “in my 30s,” I reflect back and offer some key lessons from the past decade. I’d love to hear some of your own insights and observations too, so please leave a comment below!

1. Goals Give Direction, But Not Fulfillment

It’s absolutely important to have goals in life. They can be big, grand, pie-in-the-sky, shoot-for-the-moon type goals. Or they can just be about establishing good habits. Either way, goals can serve as that North Star, giving you a sense of direction and purpose in life. Here’s something I’m working toward achieving. Maybe it’s putting a down payment on your first home. Or mastering a new skill.

I accomplished several goals in my 30s, like self-publishing my own book (twice). I hit several milestones with my blogging and social media endeavors. And yes, I even survived a camping trip where my tent collapsed under the snow. But, here’s a big lessons I’ve learned in my 30s when it comes to goals of any size. The thrill or joy of achievement is fleeting. Hedonic adaptation means everything becomes the “new normal” eventually.

Inevitably, we ask, “What now?” It’s like the dog that caught the car.

Achieving a goal may be fulfilling and feel good in the short run, but it never lasts. Even so, goals are invaluable for providing direction and motivation.

2. Never Say Never, Because You Never Know

After a few years as a freelance writer and editor, I said to myself that I’d never go back to having a regular day job again. Some people might look at freelancing as an unstable, unpredictable, sporadic way to make a living. At the time, I completely disagreed. In my eyes, by working with several clients at the same time, I was hedging my bets, so to speak. That was far more stable, I thought, than putting all my eggs in one employer.

And, while I still blog and freelance “on the side,” I very much have a main “day job” where I get a T4 and all that jazz. I still work from home as a 100% remote employee, but it is as an employee and not a freelancer or independent contractor. Circumstances change, opportunities come and go. It’s impossible to predict what the future will bring, so never say never.

3. No One Cares As Much As You Do

At some point in what feels like the not-so-distant past (but probably longer than I willing to accept), I used to blog daily here on Beyond the Rhetoric. I’d write and publish a brand new post each and every day, seven days a week. Then, at some point, I started taking Saturdays off. Then, it was every other day. These days, I might only get around to publishing something once or twice a week.

Each time I scale back on the Beyond the Rhetoric content calendar or schedule, I feel really bad about it. Like, I’ve failed myself and my audience. But, the hard truth is that I’m not sure anyone even notices. Except me. I notice. It goes back to that quote that people have attributed to several individuals over the years.

“You wouldn’t worry so much about what others think of you if you realized how seldom they do.” 

Eleanor Roosevelt, or whoever else may have said it first, is right. The average person is far more concerned and focused on their own lives to pay too much attention to what you’re doing. You are your harshest critic. The sooner you realize and accept this, perhaps the sooner and more easily you’ll be able to cut yourself some slack.

4. You Can Forget About “Just in Case”

No, I don’t think I’m becoming some sort of minimalist, as trendy as that might be. At the same time, I feel like I’m a far cry from the pack rat I used to be. Or, at least it’s something I’m working on and/or actively aware of. In an earlier life, I’d think a lot about “what if” and “just in case.” That’s how I ended up with multiple boxes of random cables and product packaging. You know, just in case I ever needed to return this thing. Who knows when I might want to reconnect a camcorder to the TV? Never mind that I don’t have that camcorder anymore, nor does any modern TV have the right connection to take this cable.

Admittedly, I still fall into this trap far more often that I would like. I keep a lot of stuff just in case. I also pack a lot of stuff when I go traveling (remember when travel was still a thing?). Just in case. I’m actively working against this, as best I can, because the reality is that “in case” rarely if ever rears its ugly head. Most of the time, I end bringing or keeping stuff I don’t need, and the added clutter just adds to my stress and anxiety.

Plan ahead and think about the future, absolutely. Just don’t overdo it by clinging to the past or focusing on very unlikely disaster scenarios.

5. Take Better Care of Yourself

When you’re young, you think you’re invincible. I’ve never been in great shape, my back has always been crooked like a question mark (thanks Forrest), and my cardio is closer to an asthmatic octogenarian than a spritely teenager. Even so, in my 20s, I think I managed just fine. So, I let a lot of things slide. Literally. I slouched a lot and now I suffer from all kinds of back and hip pain. Working in front of a computer all these years certainly has done me any favors.

All those years of neglect have caught up with me, in one way or another. During my 30s, I’ve started to pay more attention to my health, both mental and physical. I visit with an RMT and chiropractor regularly and I’m more mindful of my posture and ergonomics. Hard as it might be, I try my best to squeeze in some “me time” now and then, including my evening walks and reading more books.

We could all benefit from taking better care of ourselves in all regards. And that’s true whether you’re in your 20s, 30s or 70s. What will the next decade bring? What lessons will I learn along the way? For those of you in (or past) your 40s, what sage words of wisdom would you share with a 39-year-old version of yourself?