For the last few years, I’ve been setting “goals” of varying specificity for my “new year’s resolutions.” You might remember when I recently reflected on my goals for 2023. After taking some time to think about it — as I am often apt to do, to overthink it, really — I’ve decided to return to a different approach for my 2024 new year’s resolutions instead. I’m going back to using “guiding words” instead.

These are less specific, by design, because they allow me to consider my daily actions, decisions, and experiences through a certain kind of lens. The hope is that they help to put things into context and perspective. In the past, I’ve used guiding words like acceptance, intent, and space. For 2024, my guiding words consist of three short phrases.

Quiet Mind

The 2011 Lupe Fiasco song “Words I Never Said” featuring Skylar Grey opens with, “It’s so loud inside my head with the words that I should have said. As I drown in my regrets, I can’t take back the words I never said.”

Now, for me, it’s not so much that I live with regret about words not spoken, per se. Rather, it’s just really loud inside my head. My mind is constantly racing a mile a minute, jumping from one tangent to the next.

It’s a big part of the reason why I have a hard time falling asleep at night, despite feeling utterly exhausted almost all the time. I worry about the future, I ruminate on the past, and I engage in a self-destructive meta game when I know it is not in my best interest. While I’m not at all sure how I’m going to go about doing this — and will likely overthink it as a result — I’d like to focus on quieting my mind in 2024.

By extension, this also means I want to work on being present, fully present, as I go about my day. It’s too easy and too tempting to let my mind wander. I’ll resist the urge to mindlessly scroll on my phone as I watch TV, for example. Maybe I’ll look into some mindfulness meditation to help service this first goal and set of guiding words for 2024.

Small Joys

Far too often in life, we look for the big gestures and grand adventures, thinking these will bring us happiness. We look forward to huge purchases and breathtaking vacations, thinking that’s what will turn our mental health around. But, research has shown that these “big highs” are frequently short-lived and often nowhere near as satisfying as we had hoped. They’re fleeting and the comedown is almost as bad as the come-up is good.

Instead, to achieve more lasting happiness and a sense of contentment in our lives, we need to pay more attention to small joys. We need to be more grateful for the little things, because they really were the big things all along. On a trip through Squamish last fall, I took the time to indulge in some fancy coffee and donuts at Fox & Oak. Not long after, I “discovered” the song “How Not to Drown” by CHVRCHES and have had it on repeat ever since. These small joys are a big deal worth recognizing and celebrating.

And so is taking the afternoon to ride a vintage carousel with the kids.

Incremental Improvement

The perspective of magnitude also applies to this final set of guiding words for 2024. A common reason why so many new year’s resolutions fail is people can be overly optimistic in setting their goals. They set their sights on “pie in the sky” objectives and then feel terrible when they come up short. Yes, some people will say it’s better to aim for the stars and land on the moon, but I’m not sure my mental and emotional health can take it anymore.

Remember how teachers identified me as a “gifted student” in school? That just led to a life of feeling like I was never enough. Audacious goals just set me up for disappointment, even if my objective performance isn’t all that bad.

And so, for 2024, I’m not looking to make giant leaps forward in any particular facets of my life. Rather, I seek to make steady, incremental progress. I will continue working on my physical health, for instance, and investing in my career as a freelance writer. Even one step forward is still a step forward and that’s something worth feeling proud about. Especially after these last couple of years.

Using a Compass, Not a Treasure Map

Quiet mind, small joys, and incremental improvement. While no one has a crystal ball and no one can possibly know what the year will bring, I feel like these guiding words for 2024 will light the way and help me course-correct along the way. I hope you’ll join me on this journey of personal development and seeking contentment in our day-to-day lives.