“Worlds are colliding! You’re killing Independent George!”

Do you remember the “worlds theory” from Seinfeld? This compilation video on YouTube is a good reminder. The gist of the theory asserts that our lives are separated into different “worlds.” In the case of George, he has one world with his friends Jerry, Elaine and Kramer. And he has a different, separate world with his fiancé Susan. When Elaine decides to befriend Susan, George’s world “collide.” It’s chaos, figuratively speaking.

I feel like we all have some sense of the “worlds theory” in our own lives. Social media has broken down some of these barriers, as we discover unexpected connections between worlds. Even so, I think the theory holds to some degree. And you can apply a similar kind of framework to the makeup of your life. Put another way, I see that there are three main buckets in my life right now. And I’m neglecting the fourth one… which I’ll discuss in a moment.

My Current Life in Three Buckets

Now, this is probably a gross oversimplification. Of course, “real life” is far more complicated and nuanced. That said, I think this framework is a useful tool for thinking about how we spend our time and energy. For me, most of my life can fit into three main buckets.

1. Family and Home

As a father of two (and husband of one), I’ve naturally got some familial responsibilities on my plate. Absolutely, I greatly treasure my family life, even if it means navigating another pandemic summer. Even if it means keeping one young child entertained and engaged, while simultaneously trying to deal with a baby on the cusp of becoming a toddler. I’ve written about the “dad life” on this blog extensively, so I don’t need to get into it too much here.

In this same “family” bucket, I’d include all the things that go along with raising a family and maintaining a home. That includes managing our household finances, dealing with home repairs, and shopping for our next car. Family and home life are a lot already.

2. The “Day Job”

For many adults, myself included, “work life” makes up a rather big bucket. We’ve got to pay the bills. And depending on your individual life circumstances, work could also be a great source of meaning and purpose in your life. For me, for more than a year now, that’s been as the Content Lead for WordFinder by YourDictionary. I’ve been working with the parent company, LoveToKnow Media, for over 15 years, most of which as a freelancer.

This “day job” has been just a natural evolution and extension of that working relationship. Working with LoveToKnow is my primary source of income.

3. Blogging and Freelancing

Working as a proper “employee” with LoveToKnow has been a significant shift from my professional life prior to that. As you may already know, my freelance writing and editing business has also been around from 15 years. Up until making the transition to the “day job,” freelancing was my primary source of income. That side of my professional life has continued, playing a smaller role overall.

In perhaps this most varied bucket, I’d also include other professional pursuits that aren’t part of the day job. There’s this blog, for starters, along with social media, YouTube, influencer life, and all the rest of it.

What About the Fourth Bucket?

In compartmentalizing my life into those three buckets, it wasn’t long before I recognized that I forgot about the fourth bucket altogether. For the lack of a better term, I might refer to the fourth bucket as “self care.” It’s a little more than that, though. Part of it has to do with pursuing personal interests that aren’t in service of some bigger goal, for example. Or getting enough rest. Or just taking the time to breathe.

If you’re anything like me, particularly if you feel like your current responsibilities pull you in 15 different directions, then you can see why it’s easy to neglect the fourth bucket. It’s oft-forgotten, because everything else seems more urgent, more pressing, more important than sitting under a tree and reading a book. It feels hard to earn “me time” without feeling guilty about it.

I thought I was making some progress with this. Maybe I am. I’m reading more books and taking more steps. But it doesn’t feel like enough and it absolutely feels like this fourth bucket is taking a backseat to everything else.

My Life an an RPG

A few years ago, I wrote a post describing my life as an RPG. The idea is that you only have so many attribute “points” to distribute. Do you want to increase your strength or your speed? Your melee attacks or your ability to wield magic? A friend of mine says he subscribes to the min-max approach, maximizing one attribute (like strength) at the expense of minimizing another (like speed). I struggle with doing that. I seek balance in all things, so I end up with a “5” across the board.

And maybe that’s why I struggle so much with this idea of my life in buckets. I want to fill all the buckets, equally, but there’s only so much of me to go around. Other people may be able to dedicate themselves more to one bucket or another. I don’t think I can do that.

Does that mean I need to shrink the size of the buckets?

What’s the best solution here?