I can’t recall exactly whether or not I’ve told all these stories already. So, please accept my apologies if you’ve already heard them. You know that I’m a pretty open book here on Beyond the Rhetoric and I’ve always got more relatable tales to share with you. As exciting as big trips might be, as insightful as profound revelations can be, we live our lives mostly in the mundane. In the everyday. And these true stories bring that truth to light.
An Uphill Battle
Here in Metro Vancouver, we have a famous hike affectionately called the Grouse Grind. You start at the base of Grouse Mountain and you hike all the way to the top. As you ascend “nature’s staircase,” you also have to endure a quick change in elevation and oxygen levels. That’s part of the challenge. The fittest among us can finish in about half an hour, whereas others may take as much as two hours. It really varies.
Years ago — and I’m talking over 10 years ago — we decided to do the Grouse Grind. Even though I didn’t look out of shape, I definitely was (and still am). Multiple times along the hike, I stepped aside to catch a breath. The trail isn’t very wide, so slower hikers (read: me) should make room for faster hikers (read: most everyone else) to pass. It’s the same idea as keeping to the right while driving.
Anyhow, I was about halfway up the mountain when I decided to take another break. While I was catching my breath, a guy probably in his 70s or 80s came barreling down the trail with his hiking poles. This man, easily in his 70s or beyond, stopped and asked me, a “young” man in his 20s, whether I’m okay. I told him I was just taking a break. He smiled, nodded, and carried on at a pace even the fittest 20-year-old would envy.
Anyhow, I’ve got some advice for first-time hikers, if you’re thinking about tackling a similar kind of challenge.
Lost in the Woods
I know what you’re thinking. When you meet me for the first time, you’re obviously thinking that I’m a super rugged outdoorsman. Clearly, I spend my weekends chopping lumber and grabbing sockeye salmon straight out of the water with my bare hands. Ah, but you’d be mistaken, my friend. So dearly mistaken.
You see, I’m very much a city boy. And even when it comes to recreational activities, I’ve never been one for grand outdoor adventures. And so, prior to our first #5DadsGoWild camping trip in 2018, I had never gone tent camping in my life. In fact, I’d never slept in a tent at all, let alone actually set one up myself. My only camping experience at that point was in grade 7 and in grade 8 as school trips.
On both occasions, we stayed in cabins in bunk beds with proper linens. We had showers, flushing toilets, electricity, heat, and all the other modern amenities you’d want to have. (WiFi wasn’t a thing yet and the internet as we know it was still in its relative infancy.) And, you know, we had “responsible adults” in charge of our care and safety. With #5DadsGoWild 2018, I had no idea what I was doing.
And, if we’re being honest, I still don’t, even after three of our #5DadsGoWild camping trips. We were eaten alive by mosquitoes this year and I got buried under the snow last year. It would be an upgrade to call myself a mediocre camper.
We Are the Champions
No, I’m not at all a rugged outdoorsman. It may also surprise you to learn that I’m not great at the sportsball either. But, in an effort to be a good Canadian kid, I signed up for the curling team back in high school. Yes, curling… because we didn’t have a hockey team (and I can’t skate anyhow) and I was definitely not made out for lacrosse. As it turned out, my high school curling team were city champions.
A minor detail of likely minimal consequence? We were also the only high school team in Vancouver, at least as far as we knew.
We’d go around playing against teams from the surrounding suburbs and let’s just say it wasn’t even close. Utter destruction. To be fair, our team consisted of kids from immigrant families who were all playing curling for the first time. The other teams had kids who’d likely been playing for years already. But hey, I’m going to keep telling people we were city champions, because no team in Vancouver ever beat us. 😉
We are the champions, my friends
And we’ll keep on fighting ’til the end
We are the champions
We are the champions
No time for losers
‘Cause we are the champions
Of the world
Yup, even mediocrity can be pretty great, whether you’re talking about hiking, camping, or curling.
In a world where we are continuously pushed to be super athletes who run the Mohab-240 at the weekend, it’s nice to see some humility.
I’m investing in a Fitbit so I can monitor my own ‘mediocre at best’ athletic prowess in real time. On my wrist. Twenty Four hours a day.