Let me preface this by saying there is no judgement here. Just an observation, seeking clarification and understanding. You see, I’m friends with a good number of “mom bloggers” and “dad bloggers.” And these “parent bloggers” definitely have a lot in common, as we go through a lot of the same parenting challenges and struggles. And, at least as far as I can see, the relationships they have with their partners can be similar too.
The Social Media Experience
“Mommy bloggers” and “daddy bloggers” are usually very active on social media, and understandably so. Blogging and social media go hand-in-hand, especially if this online presence is a business. (I know that “influencer” can be a dirty word to some. Call us “online content creators” if you prefer.) It only makes sense that we pay attention to page views and follower counts. We seek engagement on social media, both to build a community and perhaps to attract brand deals.
Either way, we put (at least part of) our lives on display for the world to see. We post photos of our families, tell stories, and share insights into our experiences as parents. As parent bloggers. But here’s something that I noticed, both from mom bloggers and dad bloggers. Our partners, broadly speaking, aren’t anywhere near as “visible” online in general and on social media in particular.
Look at Me (Don’t Look at Me)
Our husbands and wives, spouses and partners, might not have Facebook, Twitter and Instagram accounts at all. Even among those who do, they don’t share nearly as much. Surely, there are exceptions. Some parent bloggers tackle these online personas and businesses as a duo. You see this among some family vloggers on YouTube. But, at least among my immediate circle, I see the social media experience as very one-sided.
Again, no judgement, nor am I saying that our partners should be sharing more. It’s just an observation and I’m wondering why this might be the case. From what I can see, this is equally applicable among mom and dad bloggers. Our partners either prefer not to be included in posts or, if they do, they might do so reluctantly. Why is this?
I get that different people have a different level of comfort with social media. And I certainly can’t speak for all the other parent bloggers out there, but at least for me, part of it has to do with a desire for external validation. It’s not necessarily a healthy desire, to be sure, but it’s definitely there. We want to create great content, partly because we want that great content to be read, seen, watched, enjoyed. We want to feel like we’re really reaching out and making a difference in people’s lives.
Parent Bloggers And (Internet) Celebrity Couples
Does this disconnect between the outward sharing of parent bloggers and their less public partners extend to the wider world at large? When we look at Hollywood and mainstream entertainment, for instance, celebrity couples are around, but I imagine they make up a smaller percentage of celebrities in general. For every Kim and Kanye, for every Kristen and Dax, there are dozens (or more) celebrities whose partners are relatively unknown.
We only know about Candice Pool because of Casey Neistat, even if she’s super successful in her own right. We’ve never met Peter McKinnon’s wife (as far as I know). Are parent bloggers the same way? One may seek fame and fortune and influence, so to speak, while the other does not. Maybe. I don’t know. For our family, Susanne supports what I do here as a “dad blogger,” but she’s not interested in creating any of the content herself. It’s not her thing. So, blogs, vlogs, Instagram posts? That’s all me.
Do you know any parent bloggers who do this online thing as a 50/50 duo? Would you agree that kind of arrangement is rarer than the alternative?
You pick a great question, one I’ve often posed to myself. My wife is “aware” of what I do but not involved and at some point I would love to involve her. My blog was simply a way to get what’s off my chest and what’s on my mind down to (digital) paper. I’ll look for you on social media.