James Smith of SocialDad.ca shared a post last week talking about what you child needs to know before starting kindergarten. His little one will be starting kindergarten this September, so he looked up some of the guidelines and recommendations put forth by the Vancouver School Board. These include getting your child ready to learn, helping your child be social, and letting your child learn independence. But, what else can new kindergarten parents expect? How can they get ready?

Well, far be it for me to play the role of the sage old man of the mountain. What I can do, though, is speak from my own personal experience. Addie has adjusted to her kindergarten at her new school beautifully. As I look back at these past few months, here are a few observations and pointers that come to mind.

1. Temper Your Lunch Expectations

My kid likes food. She’s known to ask for unagi or tako when asked what she wants for dinner. She talks a lot about food, and a lot of her pretend play centers around food. Even so, she almost never finishes her school lunch. I’m pretty sure I can count on one hand the number of times she’s finished her lunch since September.

When I ask her why she didn’t finish her lunch, she usually tells me that she ran out of time. Your kid’s school’s mileage may vary, but Addie says she only gets 20 or 25 minutes to eat. Realistically, children this age are too concerned with socializing and playing. We usually try to get her to finish her lunch as an after school snack.

2. Prepare for Big Transitions

As I mentioned a couple of weeks ago, it’s hard to feel like you’re doing enough. We thought about enrolling Addie in some extracurricular activities of some sort or another, but we figured that starting kindergarten was big enough of a deal on its own. There’s a lot here and it can throw your whole routine into upheaval, especially if your child hasn’t already been enrolled in full-time daycare or preschool before this.

Different kindergarten parents will understandably experience this a bit differently, as we all have different circumstances. However, you can expect to go through some big changes with kiddo and this can manifest itself in all sorts of different ways.

  • Is your child comfortable socializing and interacting with kids not only their own age, but up to 7 years older in the same school?
  • Does your child still take a nap most days? There’s typically no real “nap time” in kindergarten and 6+ hours of stimulation can be a lot. However, most classes tend to have a “quiet time” of some sort in the afternoon.
  • Even if your child has been in daycare, kindergarten can be much more structured in nature. How well can they handle and respond to that?
  • What about the morning routine? And the after school routine?

3. Encourage Greater Independence

You may have been hearing this more and more lately:

I can do this by myself!

And, you have to let them try, even when you’re already late and you can see they’re doing it wrong. As hard as it can feel sometimes, we have to learn to let go. At some point, the kids have to learn how to take care of themselves. This means learning how to put on their shoes, zip up their jackets, carry their own backpacks (!), get their own homework out of their backpacks, and all the rest of it.

It can feel much easier to “steamroll” your way through and just do it for them, but then they’ll never learn. Just let them figure things out for themselves… and this includes providing them with greater autonomy to make their own decisions too.

4. Be Early for School Dropoff and Pickup

Believe me. I know this is far easier said than done, but just do this as best you can. School dropoff and pickup can be a gong show at the best of times. You’re not only contending with all the other kindergarten parents, but all the other parents of kids in every other grade too.

I’ve found that showing up just 3 to 5 minutes earlier can pretty much guarantee me a parking spot. Showing up “right on time” sometimes means parking more than a block away… which just makes us even more late than we already are. Be early.

5. Create Monthly Calendars With Pictures

Remember how I was talking about a greater sense of independence and autonomy? As you already know, information is power. So, a great way to put those little 5-year-olds in “control” of their own day is to prepare them for what to expect and what to look forward to.

I create a simple customized monthly calendar in Canva, but you could just as easily write and draw directly on the paper with markers and crayons. On the calendar, I’ll put things like what she can expect for hot lunch day (clip art graphics are perfect for this), professional days, upcoming events, and who is going to be the “special helper” in class in each day. She refers to her calendar frequently. Because she knows what to expect, there are fewer surprises and, thus, fewer meltdowns.

Fat cat whiteboard

6. Get Involved If You Can

Maybe it’s because I come from the perspective of having gone though the parent participation preschool dynamic. Perhaps it’s because I want to cling onto her childhood for as long as I can. Whatever the case, even though there’s no such thing as a “parent participation kindergarten,” per se, there are opportunities to stay involved in some form or another. Volunteer for field trips and in-class parties. It’s a great way to get to know the other kids (and how your kid interacts in the classroom environment with these other kids).

7. Keep the Conversation Going

I’ve been told that it won’t be long before she stops talking to me and starts to hate me forever. The tween and teen years are right around the corner. To this end, I want to do my best to set a precedent with open and honest communication, letting her express her own enthusiasm and excitement about what she’s doing and learning in school.

For a time, I simply asked, “Did you have fun?” But, that’s a conversation killer, because it can be a one-word answer. Instead, I’ve been trying to pose more open-ended questions. “What did you do today?” or “What did you learn today?” can feel a bit overwhelming at first, so if you know a bit more about their schedule, you can be a bit more specific. “What game did you play in PE today? How was that?”

Learning Is FUN-damental

Don’t worry about report cards too much at this point. The teaching staff can help with all of that, providing the right kind of guidance and support that your child needs. You just need to be prepared to listen and keep the learning going at home.

Most importantly of all, do what you can to preserve the idea that school is fun, not a chore. Hopefully, they can maintain that attitude throughout elementary and high school and beyond. Who knows? Maybe they’ll even start finishing their lunches too! A dad can dream…