Common sense, much like common courtesy and common knowledge, really isn’t all that common. And, when you do get common sense in the form of simple life lessons, it’s not only insufficient; it tends to contradict itself. Birds of a feather flock together, and yet, opposites attract. How does that even make sense? People may offer truisms and aphorisms with the best of intentions, but all you end up getting are great contradictions that confuse and dismay. Allow me to illustrate.

Money Matters

Don’t worry about the money.

It’s often said that money is the root of all evil. To the best of my knowledge, the fuller line is that the pursuit of money is the root of all evil. And sure, our sense of self-worth should not boil down to dollars and cents. Worrying about money is stressful, and yet we do it all the time. If we can get to a place where we don’t worry about money, we’ll be happier, right? Then again…

Financial literacy is important.

Many people also often complain that they don’t teach fundamental financial literacy in school. That’s how people fall for the “predatory” practices of the big banks. That’s how people find themselves in crippling debt or why they don’t know the first thing about investing. Credit cards aren’t evil, in and of themselves. Just don’t worry about the money, right?

On Other People

Don’t worry what other people think.

Far too often, we get way too caught up in how other people are perceiving us. This is especially true in the age of social media, where we’re trying to keep up the curated version of the Joneses’ life. You’ll be happier if you forget about external validation, and just do your own thing. Except…

How will I be remembered?

Even if we ignore common courtesy for a moment (you should still be nice to other people, because it’s the right thing to do), what other people think of us is still important. The interviewer who thinks poorly of you won’t hire you for the job you want. And even that aside, thinking about your legacy is at the core of many an existential crisis. You do want to be remembered fondly, don’t you?

Hustle and Flow

You have to hustle to get what you want.

Maybe you’ve heard that fortune favors the bold. You may have also heard that the world owes you nothing, so if you want something, you’ve got to go out there and get it yourself. We champion hard work and dedication. We glamorize “that hustle life.” The entrepreneur putting in those long hours? That’s called passion. It’s something to be admired, right? Well, not so fast…

Rest and down time are not laziness.

In stark contrast to championing the “hustle” lifestyle, we see a similar rise in telling people to slow down and shut down every now and then. We’re told that we can’t be “on” all the time, because we need some “me time” to recharge the batteries. You can’t serve from an empty vessel, right? So, you shouldn’t feel about getting in some Netflix time on the couch… except I totally do.

Six of One

Don’t put all your eggs in one basket.

As far as great contradictions go, this one hits me especially hard as a self-employed freelancer. While conventional wisdom tells us that a traditional job is safer and more stable than freelancing, I’m not so certain. You could get fired or laid off tomorrow, effectively shrinking your income down to zero. As a freelancer, even if I lose one client, I’ve got others to keep me going. I’m not putting all my eggs in one basket. But…

The Pareto principle teaches us to focus on what works.

The Pareto principle states that 80 percent of the output comes from 20 percent of the input, or some variation thereof. As a small business owner, I should focus my energy on the 20 percent of clients who bring in 80 percent of the revenue. I shouldn’t, by extension, “waste” my time and effort on clients who take up a disproportionate amount of my time for relatively little money.

Follow the slippery slope and I end up putting all my eggs in one basket.

It’s About Time for Contradictions

Live in the present. But, don’t forget your past. And save for the future.

What can we learn here? Life is never so simple. You can’t sum it all up and solve all your problems with a singular approach or outlook. There’s no magic bullet, no miraculous “a-ha” moment to cure all your ills. Life is complicated and nuanced, with innumerable exceptions and countless contradictions.

So, I hate to break it to you, but you’ve just got to figure it out on your own, one imperfect decision at a time. And you wonder why we say that adulting is hard.