I’ve been thinking a lot about privilege lately. In particular, I’ve been thinking about how much my daughter’s childhood has differed thus far from my own. This is not at all to take away anything from my parents, but rather to illustrate a difference in circumstances. For instance, Addie will have two university-educated parents to help her with homework; I did not.

On the topic of university, I remember receiving unconditional acceptance letters from the two biggest schools in the area: the University of British Columbia (UBC) and Simon Fraser University (SFU). On some level, it was a hard decision having to choose between the two. But, the very fact that I had the choice to make at all was very much a matter of privilege. I had the grades and my family had the financial wherewithal to make it possible.

Life can be difficult. We just have to pause and recognize that many of the “hard decisions” we have to make come from a place of incredible privilege. Allow me to illustrate with a few examples from my own life.

The Third Shift: Work or Rest?

Many people have told me how “lucky” I am that I “get to” work from home. Freelancing and entrepreneurship have generally treated me well, but this self-employed life is certainly not without its challenges either. And many of these challenges have really been brought to light since I became a parent.

You’ve likely come across at least one or two of my blog posts on the tyranny of the third shift. Indeed, I am typing these words just before 10 p.m., at a time when many other parents may be watching something on Netflix or getting ready for bed.

True, I have that option too. But it is a choice. And, deciding between whether I should work or I should rest after the kid goes to sleep is a decision I have to make each and every day. And, I’m “lucky” to have it.

Dream Jobs: Do What You Love?

“What do you want to be when you grow up?”

On many levels, this goal to “do what you love” for a living is a rather modern invention. For centuries, you had no real say in what your job would be: it’d probably be working on the family farm. Today, given the right circumstances and opportunities, children can pursue almost anything.

This creates a lot of pressure as you get into early adulthood, particularly when every decision feels like it might be wrong. By choosing to do one thing, you effectively eschew all the other things. But again, the very fact that you can choose what kind of work you want to do (at least in theory) is a huge example of privilege denied to many.

Tech Talk: iPhone or Android?

I’m using the example of smartphones here, as it is likely one of the most relatable, but it can just as easily be applied to any number of buying decisions. Should I get the new Pixel 4 or the iPhone 11? Should I get the Canon or the Sony camera? Which shirt should I buy? Is this the right car for my family?

We live in an era of incredible choice. Just walk down the salty snacks aisle at your local supermarket. I know that some purchases are inherently bigger or more cost-prohibitive than others. But the very fact that you even have the headspace to think about Google Assistant versus Amazon Alexa speaks volumes.

Money Matters: Rent or Buy?

Money can be a very sensitive subject, I know. Should you find yourself in a situation where you need to decide whether it makes more sense to rent or to buy your home, recognize that this hard decision is a huge example of privilege. The fact that you can buy a home at all puts you ahead of the curve.

Many of the associated “adulting” responsibilities chalk up in much the same way. Where should you get your home insurance? Should you get a fixed rate or variable rate mortgage? Does it make more sense to contribute to my RRSP or my TFSA? Should I pay down the mortgage or put more money into Addie’s RESP?

I stress about these kinds of questions often. I also recognize how lucky I am that I have these kinds of questions to answer in the first place.

Election Time: Who Gets Your Vote?

It’s election season. If you’re in Canada, you may have already cast your ballot in one of the advance polls. The official federal election day is this Monday, October 21. For my friends in the United States, your turn will come next year… but the debate season is well underway already.

Growing up, I was basically told that all politicians are crooks and they cannot be trusted. Coming from a different direction, many people will tell you that they’re not interested in politics. This implies that they are relatively satisfied with the status quo. That’s a position of privilege, because it means the day-to-day changes in policy don’t effect any grand change in their lives.

As someone who is comfortably middle class, living in a reasonably safe neighborhood, I understand the comfort of this “bubble.” But, there is always much more work that can be done. It’s not just about you and your family; it’s about everyone, particularly those who have traditionally not had a voice in politics. As a child of working class immigrants, I also understand that feeling all too well.

Hard Decisions Are a Gift

These “hard decisions” give me a lot of stress and anxiety. I worry about many of them constantly. But, when I take a step back and examine the bigger picture, I come to recognize just how fortunate I am in the grand scheme of things.

Last month, my daughter’s elementary school distributed a childhood experiences questionnaire. It really illuminated some of the “hidden” privilege that so many of us have. How often do you go to the public library? How safe do you feel in your neighborhood’s parks? What is your highest level of education? How often has your child gone hungry due to lack of money?

Choosing which playground to visit or what school to attend is a much more privileged decision that choosing whether you should eat or have heat tonight. Do not feel guilty for your privilege. Rather, decide how you can use your privilege to benefit everyone else.