“Oh, we have lots of time.”
It’s a common anthem among parents and non-parents alike. There’s this future event that feels like it’s so far off on the horizon. We don’t need to worry about it yet. But months turn into weeks, and weeks turn into days. And before you know it, the thing is tomorrow. It feels like only yesterday we were taking her home from the hospital for the first time. She might think she’s ready for her “new school,” but I am not ready for kindergarten.
Leading up to preschool, I also had several concerns on my mind. What was going to happen with the nap schedule? Was there going to be a problem with separation anxiety? What about the whole bathroom situation? As it turned out, most of my concerns weren’t problems at all. Children are far more adaptive and resilient than you might think.
But the “big” school? That’s a whole other thing, right? And I thought choosing a kindergarten was hard enough.
What’s in the Lunch Box?
All the veteran parents out there are probably laughing at my naivety and inexperience here. I get it. You see, my daughter has never been in daycare and her preschool was only for a couple of hours at a time. Not once have we had to pack her a lunch that we wouldn’t actually eat with her. Kindergarten changes that.
It’s this whole other set of logistics. We need to get a lunch ready that she not only can eat herself, but also that she will eat herself. As I understand it, the latter is a huge point of frustration for many parents. Their kids come home from school with an untouched lunch again and again. What a wasted effort, right?
Should we get her a cute bento box? Is she going to be interested enough in a sandwich and a juice box? How likely is it that she’ll actually come home with any utensils we pack her?
Growing Up Is Hard to Do?
I bumped into a friend of mine at the playground the other day. His daughter is a little over a year old. With her relatively newfound ability to walk, she’s been getting into more precarious situations. With that, my friend asked me at what age can kids go play by themselves without you having to watch them.
The thing is this question directs the focus in the wrong direction. Instead, you should be asking this: at what point can YOU let the kids play by themselves without YOU watching them? Caveats aside, it’s about learning to let go. And that’s really hard as a parent.
I say that I am not ready for kindergarten, because on some level, I feel like I need to be there for her. But, from her perspective, she couldn’t be more excited. I think growing up is hard. She doesn’t give it a second thought.
Getting Up Is Hard to Do
In terms of preferences and logistics, I foresee some challenges in our near future. None of us are morning people. Left to our own devices, without other obligations, we’d happily stay in bed past 10. Of course, that’s not going to work with a typical school schedule.
I’m worried about establishing a morning routine. I’m concerned about planning time for breakfast, especially since her meals oftentimes take over an hour. That will need to change. And that also means that, begrudgingly, I’ll have to start waking up earlier too. How that will impact the third shift remains to be seen.
The Days Are Long
At this point, it’s bordering on cliche, and yet I keep coming back to it. The days are long, but the years are short. In the case of getting ready for kindergarten, though, the first part of that statement can almost be taken literally.
As I said above, she was only at preschool for a couple of hours at a time. A full school day, by comparison, is right around six hours. That’s a huge jump and it’ll surely be a huge transition. Considering how hard it is for me to hold her attention for six minutes, how will she cope with staying focused and attentive for six hours?
And how I will cope with knowing that she’ll be away from family for that long? Remember that she’s never been in daycare!
A Life Beyond My Own
In chatting with some friends, they’ve half-jokingly pointed out that I’ll have my day back again. It’s weird. On some level, I resisted the title of stay-at-home dad. On another level, staying at home with my daughter has defined such a huge part of my life these past five years.
She’s gone out with mom or grandma without me, most assuredly, but that certainly hasn’t been a “regular” thing. I’ve gotten used to having her around all the time, save for the couple hours of preschool, three days a week. But six hours a day, five days a week, that’s going to be a shock to the system and I’m not sure I’m ready.
And even beyond that, this is really when she’s going to start having a life that doesn’t really involve me. She might make new friends that I may not know, or she may have new struggles that she may not share with me. Truly, kindergarten is really where she’ll start to exercise more of her individuality. She is her own person.
What Does “Ready for Kindergarten” Even Mean?
This is uncharted territory for me. Oh, and for her too, I guess. There’s just this laundry list of changes, plus all the things I can’t anticipate. Or haven’t anticipated. I want to feel involved and informed, but I also must resist the urge to micromanage. Like I said, she has to be her own person. I have to let go.
Even so, we’re going to need to make plans for before and after school. Do kindergartners get homework? How do we deal with that? What are the other expectations and responsibilities? I don’t even know what “ready for kindergarten” even really means.
As an aside, a cursory search on Google yields loads of articles about parents choosing to hold their kids back a year because they don’t think they’re ready for kindergarten. I’m not here to judge this “redshirting” phenomenon. (Buzz Bishop has a strong opinion on the matter.) What I will say is that, even though she’ll be one of the younger ones in her class, I’m fairly certain she’s ready. She’s really excited to meet new friends and explore her new school.
Say Hello to the New Normal?
Realistically? I’m probably sweating and stressing over nothing. Just as was the case in conversing with other preschool parents, we all have our worries. And at the end of the day, we didn’t really need to worry, because our children are surprisingly resilient… if we let them. Me? I’m not so sure.
Now, what am I going to do with all this “free” time? I’m going to have the middle of the day to myself again! Well, there is this to-do list I’ve got…
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My daughter never went to daycare or preschool either but was excited to go to school. She wasn’t any less prepared. With any grade they are entering expect kids to be sleepier and a bit grumpier in September while they are transitioning into a routine. I found as my daughter watched what her friends ate she would come home and ask for similar things in her lunch. I would let her be involved in picking things so that she would be more likely to eat them.
That’s what I’ve heard too. Generally speaking, the more kids are involved in their own meal planning/prep/cooking, the more likely they’ll actually eat the food.
My daughter is going to Kindergarten this year too. I’m excited because this summer has been tough on her. Instead of enjoying herself, she has been watching the clock for mom to come back.
Thise tears of being without mom has vernbwith her since the first day I went back to work.
Preschool was a routine and yes Kindergarten is going to be hard.
Slowly I will lose my daughter like my parents have lost me. New life, busy life.