English can be a tricky language. Words can carry a lot of weight. While some people may scoff at the difference, the truth is that semantics are important. Worry and anxiety are not the same thing, just as “feeling sad” and clinical depression are not interchangeable. When thinking about your own mental health, do you feel like you are burdened with worry or anxiety? What’s the difference?
The Specificity of Worry
Parents worry when their teenage children stay out late, especially if they’re unsure about the current group of friends. Stuck in rush hour, you might worry about making it to work on time. Is there an accident on the road ahead? Should you take the tunnel or the bridge? That’s normal. We all do it.
When you worry, that feeling tends to center around a more specific event or a contained concern. When that teenage child returns home unscathed and unharmed, the parents can breathe a sigh of relief. When you arrive at the office on time, “being late” is no longer a problem. It disappears. Worry comes and goes as the particular issue is resolved. It’s time-limited.
The Persistence of Anxiety
The temporary and “solvable” nature of worry contrasts sharply with the persistent, almost all-encompassing nature of anxiety. Whereas worry is specific, anxiety is generalized. It doesn’t go away. Anxiety is not bound by time or circumstance; it’s a broader feeling that colors all other experiences. The cloud hovers overhead. Constantly.
Anxiety continues to persist over time, leading to all sorts of daily disruptions. Because of this constant mental stress, anxiety can lead to increased levels of avoidance and procrastination. You’d keep putting things off, staying away from potentially stressful situations, because you already feel overwhelmed. You feel like you can’t fit any more on your plate.
Some Worry Is Useful
Just as a little bit of pressure can boost your productivity, a little bit of worry can be a good thing too. It can draw your attention to a potential concern, tapping into your planning and problem-solving skills. Because you’re worried about something, you work toward fixing it. That way, when the time comes, hopefully the problem is no longer a problem.
Worried about being late for work? Maybe you’ll choose to wake up a little bit earlier, so that you can hit the road earlier too. Maybe you’ll use Google Maps to determine the best route, or Waze to avoid the most congested roads. Without this worry, you might sleep in and take the worst route.
Chronic Anxiety Is Debilitating
Anxiety is an entirely different beast. Even after you arrive to work on time, even though that problem has been “solved,” you’re still on edge. That’s because you just end up unwittingly finding new things to cause more distress.
Romanian philosopher Emil Cioran once said that anxiety “tries to find a justification for itself, and in order to do so seizes upon anything.” Anxiety finds a way to attach itself to any circumstance. It doesn’t go away once a problem is solved. As a result, it infringes on daily activity. It’s just there and you seek out ways to justify the feeling.
Your mind runs through infinite hypothetical situations as “sources” or “causes” of your anxiety. You can’t enjoy the moment — any moment — because you’re stressed about what might go wrong. You brood over past interactions, present issues and future concerns.
I’m Working on It
As I’ve said before, my anxiety manifests itself in all sorts of ways. From heightened irritability to a near-obsessive desire for meticulous control over everything, it hides in plain sight. When I catch myself saying I’m worried about X or Y, what I’ve come to realize is that I’m just anxious about everything. Fixing X or Y doesn’t make it go away.
Part of my guiding words for 2019 has to do with rational thinking. To pause, take a step back, and attempt to reflect on my life circumstances as they are rather than how I’ve (unconsciously) chosen to perceive them. Even if these are mostly first-world problems, they do cause a real sense of distress. But I’m working on it.
Thanks for sharing your story, Michael. I know it must be tough to share these things, but it can definitely help others.
Thank you. I feel it’s important we open up the conversation, so anyone can be less hesitant to reach out for help if they need it. No one should suffer alone.