Especially in an era of carefully curated social media personas, it’s tempting to think that everyone is better off than you are. They must lead lives that are easier, less stressful, more exciting. Oh how lucky and privileged they are. By the same accord, we can’t help but to zero in one what is missing in our lives rather than what we have.

I am just as much to blame for this trend as I am a victim of it. My Instagram feed is full of gram-worthy food and other adventures. This, rightly or wrongly, perpetuates the illusion that I lead some sort of charmed existence, a life of leisure without a care in the world. But that’s not true at all. It’s just a character I play on the Internet. Sort of.

The Struggle Is Real

The truth is everyone has their struggles. Some are easier or harder, most assuredly, but this is not a competition of who has it worse. The subjective experience of these difficulties is very real. It’s said that once you’ve “made it,” you’re rewarded with more responsibilities, more pressure… in other words, mo money, mo problems.

With exceedingly rare exception, I almost never have a time when I absolutely have to work. The flip side of that, with virtually no exception, there is almost never a time when I absolutely cannot work either. Even without an Internet connection, I can still write a blog post. Or shoot a vlog. Or do something productive.

But I’m tired. I’m always tired, as so many parents are.

Hanging in the Balance

To that end, I sometimes find myself envying the 9-to-5 with its more clearly defined boundaries. When you’re at the office, you’re at work. When you’re home, you’re at home. The responsibilities are more clearly separated and distinct.

But my home is my office. When I’m trying to focus on work, I have to tell my kid to leave me alone. Or to “give me a second.” Which breaks my heart.

Even as I type these exact words, she’s telling me something about a chicken and a rooster and looking at an egg. It’s adorable, but it also makes it virtually impossible to concentrate. She’s talking about making a scrambled egg and how there’s a cracked shell, all while I’m trying follow my train of thought and… what were we talking about again?

Asking for (Hired) Help

Oh right. I cannot “escape” work just as much as I cannot “escape” my responsibilities as a father and a husband. I oftentimes feel stretched so thin, you can practically see right through me. On the bright side, it means I can participate more readily and be present more easily.

But these are all choices. These are all decisions I made, either intentionally or as a reaction to the situation. These are all self-inflicted problems that I brought upon myself. I could have enrolled her in daycare to “free up” more time to work. I could have hired a nanny. But I have a hard time justifying the expense, because I can be a dad and a professional, right?

Which brings me to a recent interview Chelsea Fagan from The Financial Diet conducted with Julia and Philip of Two Cents. The latter mentioned how the cost of their nanny care is double that of their mortgage. Twice! Childcare expenses were higher than they had anticipated.

But, as far as I can tell, they run a (mostly) home-based business. To that end, they could have tried to handle childcare on their own. They could have decided that one of them should focus on the business and the other on childcare, but that’s not the decision they made… and they’ve been very successful, even winning an Emmy in the process.

Greener Grass Everywhere

I know it’s cliche and it’s been said a million and one times. The grass is always greener on the other side. Maybe I look to Philip and Julia with more than a spot of envy. At the same time, I also understand that I am very much a victim of my own doing. And they surely have struggles and challenges of their own too.

In the end, it’s about making it work. There’s no one size fits all solution. And I’m still trying to find mine.