When I was a kid, there was a certain line drawn in the sand to separate boy toys and girl toys. Boys could play their war games using Transformers and G.I. Joe while girls could play with pretty things like Barbie and My Little Pony. These days, that sort of differentiation has increased exponentially and it seems like the “princess” culture is running ever more rampant.
With TV shows like Toddlers & Tiaras, these increasingly young girls are being treated less and less like children and more and more like little women. Even when we don’t go as far as these beauty pageants for girls wearing high heels not long after they’ve only learned to walk, we are bombarded with the popularity of Disney princesses and the like.
There is such a mind-boggling emphasis on outward appearance. They’re brushing and styling their hair. They’re putting on makeup. They’re wearing fancy, frilly dresses. They’ve got tiaras on their hands. And there’s a lot of pink. As New York Times writer Peggy Orenstein describes, it’s like “everything has been dipped in Pepto-Bismol.” It’s really overwhelming. If it’s not pink, it’s not “for girls.”
Just going through some of the clothes that Adalynn has received as gifts, I’d say that more than half are pink. I don’t fault the people who gave them–I know they mean well–but this really does push the “girly girl” kind of trend. I suppose when they’re still infants, it can be a little hard to distinguish gender without some clues from the clothing.
And what does this kind of princess culture teach our little girls? It reinforces the concept of the damsel in distress, as many of the Disney princesses still seek the comfort of the gallant hero who is there to rescue them from harm. It reinforces that how you look takes precedence over who you are. It encourages the mindset of being spoiled and pampered, rather than doing it yourself and taking matters into your own hands.
But maybe I’m just over-thinking it. Maybe there is no harm in a little dress-up and playing the role of a beautiful princess with gems and jewels and servants to fulfill your every whim. Nonetheless, seeing how I already worry about every little thing with my baby daughter, I’m not looking forward to when I’ll really have to tackle this issue.
Hopefully, she’ll just want to play some Street Fighter with her daddy instead. I’ll even let her have a pink Hello Kitty fightstick
My daughters have an equal number of trucks, cars, trains and tool-toys as they have pink toys. They enjoy all their toys equally.
And soon they’ll be into leather bags and wallets too, right?
Well, you are sort of overthinking it… because some girls love-love-love pink and frilly (so do some boys, but statistically more girls). And, it is not necessarily environmental exposure. I have a friend who was a tom boy, is an avid feminist, who wanted to give her daughter ALL the options and actually tried to guide her to the trains and building toys she had so loved… And, you know what her daughter wanted? Frilly pink twirly costume princess dresses and high heels and tiaras. On the other hand… a friend’s boy also loves costume princess dresses (although he prefers lavender). So… give them options, let them know the world is wide open and then let them express their interests. You might end up with a lipgloss wearing, hair braiding, book reading, baking, robot lego master, mmorpg gamer, scientist like the one who lives in my house.
You are not overthinking it. Most dads who have daughters become instant feminists. There is no time for Disney princesses either.
The reason for no princesses is not because it’s too girly. It portrays that girls can’t do anything and they’re just waiting for the guy to give them help. Or worse yet, it’s teaching them that getting married is the happiest day of their lives.
Most girls who grew up in North America look forward to their wedding day. Looking forward to getting married. Looking forward to being swept off their feet. There is more to life than getting married!
What I teach my daughters is that they do not need a boy to help them accomplish anything in life.
So, more like an Elsa, less like a Cinderella?
It doesn’t bother me in the least. My daughter loves princesses and beanie boos and playing with her baby dolls. Your role as a father is to make sure they get a good balance of everything life has to offer. My daughter also loves soccer, hockey and wrestling, so in my mind it all balances out.
I have never understood why people get so worked up over things like this. In the scope of a child’s life, this is such a miniscule thing if you are an involved parent.
The key is making sure your kids have options, and understand that nothing is cut off to them because of their gender. If upon providing your daughter with that freedom she still chooses princesses…who cares?
We all get too worked up trying to create gender equality that we forget that some people just like certain things and that’s ok.
I’d rather focus on changing the definition of what a princess is. A princess isn’t a helpless creature waiting to be saved, she’s a strong, compassionate, independent woman who happens to like fancy dresses and pastel colours.
This is the problem with the drive to ban the colour pink. Why is pink the problem? Can a computer programmer not have a pink laptop? Can a marathon runner not have pink shoes? We don’t need to ban certain colours, personality traits and words, we need to change the definition of what it means to be a leader, a scientist or an entrepreneur.
With three children and the oldest being my daughter of 10 years. She loves princesses, American Girl and all things Pink. But she also likes softball, being in the school play every year and playing with her little brothers.
Both boys, 6 and 3 loved playing with their big sisters dolls and strollers. They are more respectful of girls I believe because they had that opportunity with a big sister. On the other hand the boys naturally gravitated toward trucks, GI Joe and other boy type activities without me throwing it in front of them. They saw it at the store, when they watched TV and just around the neighborhood.
It’s natural and they should not be dissuaded from doing anything they want as they grow up that isn’t going to hurt them or others.