About a year and a half ago, I addressed some of the harsh realities of adulthood. I talked about being the main point of contact for our realtor and our mortgage broker, for instance, and how I took on many of the responsibilities for my dad’s final arrangements after he passed away. It’s like I had to grow up overnight, but maybe growing up was well overdue. In this week’s vlog, I ponder about such things.

It’s a weird feeling, to be honest. There is a monumental divide between what I understand intellectually and how I see myself in the mirror. I’m in my mid-30s, believe it or not, so the assumption is that I should have my act together. On some level, maybe I do. I’m married, we’re financially stable, and we have a happy, rambunctious toddler.

I’m buying coconut water and home insurance with the best of them. I’ve got this adulting thing completely figured out, right?

On another level, I feel like I’m still a kid. I still look to others for guidance, automatically assuming they’re older and wiser, only to realize we’re the same age and they’ve been looking to me for direction too. That’s something I learned at the preschool open house earlier this month.

Life is weird like that. In school, we learn a lot about language and history and arithmetic, but they don’t teach us very much about how to lead a happy, balanced and well-managed life. You just have to figure it out for yourself. And that might be the hardest adulting challenge of them all. Where’s my coffee?