We tend to think of the “big things” as the things that matter the most. It only makes sense. People tell us not to sweat the small stuff, which seems like reasonable advice indeed. But, there’s a big revelation that can turn all of that on its head. As Andy Bernard from The Office and William Hill from This Is Us both taught us, the small things really could be the big things all along. We just have to slow down enough to notice.

Now, realistically, almost any of the “small things” I talk about below could probably be whole blog posts on their own. But, for the moment, let’s go full listicle with some random thoughts and observations I’ve been having. Here are some small things that get on my nerves, plus a few that help to restore my faith in humanity. If you blink (182), you might miss it.

Not So Little Things That Really Grind My Gears

As I’ve gotten older, I’ve found that more and more of my pet peeves have to do with people who seem to lack common courtesy. To me, many of these acts come down to a basic level of human decency. Now, it’s possible that people who are guilty of such heinous acts are completely oblivious to their misbehavior. Or, it’s possible that they’re intentionally malicious. The problem is that I often have no way to tell which is which.

  • Drivers who refuse to zipper merge, not letting other cars in. We’d all move more quickly if we took turns.
  • Sidewalk hogs who don’t step aside to let other people pass. If there are two of you, could you walk single-file for just a moment rather than insist on walking side-by-side to take up the whole sidewalk?
  • People who litter with their dog’s poop bags. I’d almost argue this is worse than people who don’t pick up their dog’s poop in the first place. You bagged it. How can you not bring it to the nearest rubbish bin?
  • People who say, “It’s my Friday” or “What is that in cat years?” No, Candace, you don’t get to reassign the days of the week just because your schedule is different. And a year is a year is a year in Earthly terms.
  • Ghosting people on social media or via email. It’s okay if you’re no longer interested. You’re allowed. But at least have the decency to let me know.
  • Online restaurant menus that are just scanned PDFs. Seriously, why are you making me download and zoom around a PDF file on my phone to see which hamburger I want to order?

Little Gestures That Make a World of Difference

To counteract any possible perception that I’m some sort of curmudgeon (maybe I am), it’s not all bad. There is still a lot of good in this world if we take the time to pay attention. It may be great when we see big grand gestures of generosity and activists who are fighting of support of huge, society-changing causes. At the same time, if everyone did all the small things, even if only to feel good about themselves, the world could truly be a better place for everybody.

  • Stopping at a crosswalk to let a pedestrian go. I can’t even begin to count how many times I’ve almost been hit by a car during my neighborhood walks.
  • Pressing the button for a car waiting to cross a busy street. Anyone who’s been stuck waiting for a gap in traffic would be most appreciative.
  • A friendly smile or wave, just because. It’s easy to feel lonely, even when you’re surrounded by other people in a big city. A smile from a kind stranger, even if it goes no further, can restore some semblance of humanity and community.
  • When someone remembers something specific about me even if we haven’t spoken in ages. We all get the warm fuzzies when we realize that someone else cares.
  • Holding the door open for someone with mobility challenges, or in a wheelchair, or pushing a stroller. Or anyone at all, for that matter. It’s such a simple kindness that requires such little effort.
  • Normalizing the narrative of the modern, engaged dad. Because dads are parents too.

Okay, so that last one is not a “little gesture” at all. It’s a huge deal. And it’s something that I’m increasingly passionate about (in case you haven’t already noticed).

Small Things Add Up to Something Much Bigger

Never allow yourself to believe that small things don’t matter. The truth is that small things are the only things that have ever really mattered, because it’s all the small things that add up to big things. I don’t claim to be perfect, by any stretch of the imagination. But, I do want to be a good person. And that starts with little gestures and a bit of common courtesy.

What are some of the small things that are a big deal for you, both good and bad?