What a difference a generation can make. That being said, as much as we are sold on the idea of upward mobility, most people grow up to be in the same social class as their parents. The rich get richer, and the poor get poorer. That is at the crux of generational wealth. Those with means and privilege and access make it easier for their children to capitalize on such advantages. Thus, their children start with more than a leg up and reap the benefits of the snowball effect.
My Childhood Then vs. Their Childhood Now
I can only speak from my own experience. And I can already see how different my children’s lives are (and will be) compared to my childhood. We inevitably compare ourselves with our immediate peers. Growing up, most of the people I knew came from working class immigrant families. Many of my friends’ parents spoke little English, and most of us didn’t partake in (paid) extracurricular activities.
By contrast, I know that many of Addie’s peers take a variety of other classes. They’re in dance and taekwondo, taking soccer camp and going skiing in Whistler. When someone asked me what classes Addie was taking, I didn’t realize they meant what classes outside of school. Myself, as a kid, I never took piano or swimming or skating lessons. I was left to entertain myself, mostly through video games and library books.
When I was a child, many of my classmates rented basement suites and their parents drove Toyota Corollas. Meanwhile, I see several Teslas at school pickup today.
But, because none of my peers were doing anything outside of school either, I never felt like I was missing out on any of that. I never felt like I was falling behind in any way. When I look back now, though, I can see how there were others in more privileged positions who were doing these things. This form of generational wealth can be largely invisible, because our peer group tends to most resemble ourselves.
Dreams of Gold Mountain
Now, let’s take one more step back to really get a sense of how much can change in a single generation. My dad grew up in a small village in China. As a kid, he considered it a treat if he got to have meat as part of his dinner. He never graduated high school, and after moving to Canada, he worked in kitchens his whole adult life. By and large, he spend his days preparing affordable meals for white, working class customers.
You have to remember that most of the Chinese immigrants of my dad’s generation arrived in Canada with very little money. They did what they could, sold on the idea of the “Gold Mountain,” dreaming of a better life for themselves and for their (future) children. Deference to the dominant culture was an act of survival. And that’s how my parents were able to provide for me and my brother.
Hard Work and Good Fortune
As a result of their hard work and sacrifice, I grew up speaking English as part of mainstream Canadian culture. I graduated from university debt-free, and I have a “no collar” job, working from home as a writer and editor. From my parents’ perspective, this “job” is not only extremely cushy, but for years, they didn’t view it as a “real job.” Together with Susanne, we earn a comfortable, middle class living in a safe and supportive neighborhood.
And we own a home in the second least affordable city in the world. The only reason we’ve been able to do that is because my parents helped a lot with the down payment. Many people don’t have access to that kind of parental assistance. And the only reason why my parents could help is because they got into Vancouver real estate in the ’80s. Trying to start a foothold today is an entirely different matter altogether.
This is what so many Chinese immigrants dreamed about when they thought of Gold Mountain. If we can go from a humble village in China to how I live today in just one generation, imagine how Addie and Max will be living when they’re in their late 30s. Six-year-old Addie has already traveled more than some people do in a lifetime.
But again, this just makes me think about kids who grew up in the ’80s and ’90s who enjoyed so many more privileges than I did. I had to compete with their generational wealth without even really knowing it was there. And this is without having to overcome the systemic hurdles that stand in the way of so many other people.
Setting the Stage
Upward mobility is possible, but it can also feel like the exception rather than the rule. We hear exceptional stories, like how Barack Obama’s father was a goat herder in Kenya and he’d go on to serve as the 44th president of the United States. But how many Kenyan goat herders share that experience? Precisely zero. And while my experience with generational wealth is a bit more common, I know that many others aren’t so lucky.
A bright, hardworking kid born into a disadvantaged situation may not ever realize their potential. It’s hard to do well in school when you’re always hungry or you constantly fear for your safety. By contrast, an otherwise average kid born into a privileged position can go on to live a very comfortable and fulfilling life. It’s not fair and I’m not sure what we can do to better address this.
Perhaps it starts with sharing stories and gaining a better understanding of our different experiences. We all come from somewhere. How did you get here?
I have recently read Outliers by Malcolm Gladwell and your post reminded me of it greatly. I don’t know if you have read it but it deep dives into the exact cultural and generational heritage you speak of here. Upward mobility (and the extreme “outliers” he speaks of who attain the ultimate upward mobility) is mostly a result of your culture, where you grew up, your great great great great grandparents a whole lot of work and even more luck).
Thanks for the post. Like you, I’m not sure what we can do about this disparity but I think you are probably on the right path with sharing stories and experience.