We all think of it. Some of us even say it out loud. There’s not enough time. I need more time, because there’s no way I can get everything done. Believe me, I know this feeling all too well. When you’re trying to keep dozens of balls in the air, juggling can feel like an impossible feat. We’re pulled in every which direction with nowhere to turn. I know that I can sometimes feel stretched so thin, you can practically see right through me.

You Have to Make a Choice

But, here’s the thing. (You knew there had to be a thing, right?) Life is is nothing but a series of trade-offs and decisions. And, absolutely, some people simply have better choices than others. Deciding whether you should get an Audi or a BMW hardly carries the same weight as whether you should eat or pay the rent. I fully recognize that privilege plays an undeniable role here. Even so, we have to play the cards that we’re dealt and that means figuring out what to do with the time (and resources) that we have.

You will always feel compelled to fill whatever space you have. That’s why people who move from small apartments to bigger homes inevitably accumulate more stuff to fill those “extra” rooms. Psychologically, we do the same thing with time. It’s called Parkinson’s law. Work expands so as to fill the time available for its completion. That’s why you put off your class project in school until the last minute.

You always want to fill whatever space you have. That’s why people who move from small apartments to bigger homes inevitably accumulate more stuff to fill those extra rooms. Psychologically, we do the same thing with time. It’s called Parkinson’s law. “Work expands so as to fill the time available for its completion.” That’s why you put off your school projects until the very last minute too. So, we just have to make decisions and understand there will be sacrifices and trade-offs.

Here are some of the choices that I’ve made.

I Found Time to Read

As part of my 2020 Twenty goals for the year, I decided to embark on yet another reading challenge. I’ve read 20 books in the past 7 months, well ahead of the pace I need to hit my goal of 25 books on the year. Most of these have been audiobooks, generally taking between 4 to 10 hours each. I could choose to spend these hours differently, but I choose to listen (and read) these books instead. Don’t think you have time to read? You do. It just means you won’t be doing something else.

Here are a few books I’ve read recently that I recommend you check out.

I Found Time to Exercise

I try to take a walk after dinner most nights. This is partly (mostly) in service of my other goal about getting enough steps each day. These walks take about an hour. Again, I could choose to spend this hour differently, but I think this hour is very well spent, both mentally and physically.

I’ve never been a gym person. And my attempt at running regularly failed miserably. These walks are my attempt at regular physical activity and they’re really the only exercise I get. For that reason alone, they’re well worth it.

I Found Time to Build a Village

It’s not just about finding time to do the things that are outwardly “good for me,” like reading books and keeping physically active. It’s about choosing to unwind, relax and recharge. Even though I talk all the time about not having enough time, I’ve somehow “invested” over 160 hours into Animal Crossing: New Horizons these past four months. Those hours didn’t materialize out of thin air.

To be fair, I’ve managed to parlay some of that experience into a blog post about Animal Crossing and parenthood. They’re kind of the same thing, but not at all the same thing. I do feel like building up this virtual island paradise has been good for my mental wellbeing, delivering a sense of control amidst all the uncertainty of the real world.

I Found Time to Be Present

There’s always more to be done. I know that. We all know that. Even so, we also know that true multitasking is a myth. Instead, intentional monotasking is much more effective. This is especially true when it comes to parenting, because our children deserve our undivided attention (as much as is reasonably possible). Yes, reality can smack us in the face and we will fail at this. I know I have. But, we have to try.

For several months now, I’ve tried really hard to avoid working on the weekend. I fail frequently — I’m writing this blog post on a Saturday — but I do try. What this means is that I can try to actually enjoy the weekend, like going to the farmers’ market and the local park with the kid. They say kids, when they look back, will value presence over presents. Give them as much as you can.

Do You Need More Time?

I don’t want to make it sound like I’ve got it all figured out and you should view me as some sort of role model. I’m definitely not that and I’ve got a very long way to go. What I do want to point out is that I have been able to make some conscious, intentional decisions in my life about how I choose to spend my time. Yes, there are trade-offs. Absolutely, there are sacrifices.

Even outside of this pandemic, I haven’t followed professional sports for years. I also don’t watch nearly as much television as I once did, I don’t vlog nearly as often as I did before, and I write fewer blog posts here on Beyond the Rhetoric too. These things I just have to accept, because lack of time is not the problem. It’s more than that. The sooner we come to understand our limitations, the sooner we’ll accept that we don’t need more time.

We need to figure out how to make a living playing Animal Crossing with our kids.