If we’re going to be perfectly honest with ourselves, just about all of us are going a little stir-crazy at this point. Even if we’re mostly doing okay under self-isolation, we’re not really okay. Our regular routines have been thrown out of the window and everyone keeps talking about “these uncertain times.” Needless to say, we’ve relaxed many of our normal “rules” too. Every parent is allowing just a little bit more screen time, and that’s just the beginning of our quarantine confessions. Okay, so it’s a lot more screen time. For us too.
As I was listening to the radio a few days ago, the DJ introduced a segment called “Quarantine Confessional.” His co-host (I think?), who had been home for several days, confessed that she had been wearing the same sweater for several days in a row. She justified this by saying that she didn’t have much “loungewear,” so this was the only comfy sweater that she had. And in those “several days,” she hadn’t laundered the sweater once.
At this point, thank goodness Zoom doesn't support Smell-o-Vision.
— Michael Kwan (@michaelkwan) April 14, 2020
Oh, and she has a dog. So, that sweater probably smells like her dog too. But, it’s not like anyone is there to notice but herself anyway, right?
Keeping Words Six Feet Apart
Now, if we’re going to be real sticklers, the vast majority of us aren’t really under “quarantine.” It’s more like self-isolation and staying at home, since we can still take walks around our neighborhood (as long as we practice physical distancing). And we can still venture to the supermarket to pick up some essentials, though obviously nowhere near as often as we may have before all of this happened.
But semantics are just semantics, and quarantine confessions just has a bit more chutzpah to it. And I prefer “confessions” over “confessional,” but that’s neither here nor there.
These Are Your Confessions
As we’ve all tried to adapt to this temporary “new normal,” we’ve let a lot of things slide, particularly when it comes to personal grooming and hygiene… and we could all use a little more comfort food these days too. Some examples of quarantine confessions you shared with me include:
- I ate ALL THE COOKIES.
- I haven’t worn pants or shoes in almost two weeks, even on the rare occasion I go somewhere.
- I’m currently wearing a mullet-like outfit. Business on the top, party (yoga pants) on the bottom.
- I’m now sick of video games.
- I cut my own bangs.
- I may have made my kids do an extra 20 minutes of their writing prompt just so I could finish some content for the blog.
- Definitely going too long between showers.
- I’m spending hours and hours on Facebook without feeling guilty.
- I am scared to try on my fat jeans.
- I can barely remember to brush… teeth, hair, dog.
Forgive Me For I Might Stink
Of course, I’m hardly immune to this either. There’s way too much screen time going on here, even more than usual. Several of these might ring true for you too.
- My routine consists of changing out of my nighttime PJs and into my daytime PJs.
- I’ve been comfort snacking on chips more often than I care to admit.
- I haven’t had a haircut in over two months. I don’t plan on cutting it until this is over, but we’ll have to play this by ear… even if my ears slowly get covered by my hair. Or I’ll do like James and get my daughter to cut it.
- I’ve devoted more time to chores in Animal Crossing than chores in real life.
- I’ve given in to impulse buying….
Is anyone else impulse buying things online and then justifying by saying that you're spending less in other areas and you're simply taking care of yourself? Asking for a friend.
— Michael Kwan (@michaelkwan) April 11, 2020
Or as Kelly Cadieux so elegantly put it, I’m “supporting the economy.” Yes, let’s go with that. Nintendo and Ubisoft count as small, local businesses, right?
To be fair, I also ordered a pair of waterproof sneakers from Vessi and they’re a small, Vancouver-based company. We also picked up a few treats from Chez Christophe. Twice. More comfort food, I know. You’ve heard of the Freshman 15. Now, get ready for the Covid 19. What’s your quarantine cuisine looking like these days?
What Have YOU Been Doing?
What about you? Do you have any quarantine confessions to share? Have you let something slide or indulged in something a little extra? Go on and share via the comments below! We’ve got nothing to hide at this point.
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