Hurry up and put on your shoes! You’re going to be late for school!
Slow down! You’re going to trip and hurt yourself!
Can you hurry up and finish your lunch? We have to go!
Slow down! Finish what’s in your mouth before you put more in there!
Most parents are likely all too familiar with lines like these. I know I go through them practically every day. Parenthood is filled with frustrations and trying to convince your kids to “hurry up” or “slow down” can sometimes feel like an exercise in futility. I’ve been thinking a lot about this lately, and I’ve come to realize just how contradictory this must sound to my daughter. Do I want her to move faster or more slowly? Am I sending her mixed messages and she’s confused as a result?
Despite the inevitable challenges we face, despite butting heads as parents and children do, my child generally wants us to be happy with her. I think most kids seek their parents’ approval, though their behavior doesn’t always align with that.
The Movie Set of Parenthood
I don’t have any first-hand experience working on a professional movie set. From what I hear, though, there’s a lot of “hurry up and wait,” particularly with background actors (or “extras,” if you prefer). While it’s true they may work 12- or even 16-hour days, a lot of that time is spent waiting.
You wait around for the lighting and sound technicians, for example, to get everything set up for the next scene. The makeup team has to get the stars ready for the camera. This all takes time, and understandably so. Then, on practically a moment’s notice, you get called on set so they can shoot the scene. It’s a flurry of activity where everything has to be picture perfect… and then you wait all over again as they get ready for the next shot.
The lives of moms and dads can feel much the same way, except we don’t get to do nearly as much waiting. Except we do, sort of, when it comes to our kids reaching certain milestones. We wait for them to start crawling, walking, talking, and all the rest of it. And then we yearn for the days when they were still little and ask for them to stop growing.
On Time and Responsibility
I’ve written about the third shift often on this blog, and how it can feel almost impossible to “go back to work” after the little one has gone to bed for the night. At the same time, it can feel like an overwhelming obligation. If I don’t get the work done tonight, I won’t have the time to get it done tomorrow. The tasks keep piling on, the to-do list keeps getting longer, and I never feel like I get to the bottom of it.
It’s an omnipresent source of anxiety for me, one that never really goes away, because there’s always something that needs to be done. I feel like most parents can identify with this, even those who don’t work from home like I do. There’s always laundry that needs to be folded, dishes that need to be washed, bills that need to be paid… It never ends.
And then you can be overrun with guilt if you decide to take any time for yourself, if you decide to slow down and take a breath. You want to slow down and appreciate this time, because they’re only little for so long, but you’ve also go to hurry up and get all these things done.
It can feel like an impossible situation only a superhero can handle.
The Days Are Long (But You Still Need to Slow Down)
As I said at the top, I’ve come to realize that the instructions I give my daughter can sound utterly contradictory. They say that consistency is key with parenting, because your kids should know what to expect from you. And they should also know what you expect from them.
So, do you want them to hurry up or slow down? “It depends,” right? With kindergarten right around the corner for her, maybe this advice is really for me too. I need to slow down. I need to be present, to fully experience and appreciate the joys of raising a great little human.
Now, if only she could hurry up and finish her dinner.
Recent Comments