You hear these pithy little pieces of life advice all the time. On the surface, of course they ring true. A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush. All the world is a stage. However, it doesn’t take much digging before many of these aphorisms — concise statements of wisdom, often lifted from literature — start to show a few cracks. “Do unto others” is one of them. It drastically oversimplifies a decidedly more complex truth.
Do Unto Others as You Would Have Them Do Unto You
The golden rule sounds like something we would like to be true. The underlying intent is a good one: we want everyone to treat everyone else with respect and dignity and love. We want to be better to and for one another. However, not everyone wants the same thing.
Just because you would have them do unto you a certain way doesn’t mean that they would want you to do unto them the same way. A great example of this would be at a casual gathering. Everyone is mingling, except there’s one individual alone in the corner, looking bored or disinterested. If you were that person, maybe you would like someone to come over and chat with you, help you feel included. But what if that person really just wants to be left alone?
By “forcing” a conversation upon them, by choosing to do unto others as you would have them do unto you, you’re actually doing this person a disservice. Instead, perhaps a better refinement of this old adage is that you should do unto others as they would want you to do unto them.
If It Ain’t Broke, Don’t Fix It
Another variation on this saying, though perhaps interpreted in a slightly different way, is that you should let sleeping dogs lie. It’s a nugget of wisdom, to be sure, but just like “do unto others,” it’s also incomplete.
If you were to fully embrace the “if it ain’t broke” mentality, it would also stifle (if not completely halt) any impetus for progress. A horse-drawn carriage wasn’t really “broke,” but inventors “fixed it” with all sorts of faster forms of transportation. From medicine to mechanical keyboards, there is always room for improvement.
Even if it ain’t broke, it can always be improved. There is always more than can be done to make it better.
Actions Speak Louder Than Words
It’s much easier to say you’re going to do something than it is to actually do the thing. True. People are far more inclined to believe you if you practice what you preach. Totally true. But this too is also incomplete.
The pen is mightier than the sword. One person can do one thing and make a modest impact, but if that one person can move tens, hundreds, thousands, or even millions to do the thing, they can make a much more profound impact. We all have the power to influence others, thanks in large part to the social web. Those words can speak louder than individual actions.
All Things Come to Those Who Wait
I have a confession to make. I don’t think I’ve ever watched Field of Dreams, even if the whole “if you build it, they will come” line has been drilled into my memory. And while that might be a nice idea, saying that all things come to those who wait (or even those who “build it”) is a lie. You have to go out and get it… and even then, they still might not come.
Several years ago, I commented on precisely this topic from a professional standpoint. “Do what you love and you never have to work a day in your life” ties right in with “do what you love and the money will follow.” Except it won’t. If all you do is wait, then all you’ll be doing is waiting. Patience is a virtue, but it’s also insufficient.
Can you think of any other incomplete aphorisms that could benefit from a little revision? Go ahead. I’ll wait.
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