As much as I would like to think that I am reasonably progressive with my perspective on things and that this is a marriage between equals, it is not. Ever since I made that life-changing decision nearly two decades ago, I’ve always wondered why she would settle for a poor sap like me. I see all these positive qualities in her and I yearn for the day that I can internalize them for myself. It’s true. I envy my wife every day.

Let me count the ways.

She can fall asleep the moment her head hits the pillow.

Over on Facebook, I quipped that I am very much subject to inertia. That would explain why I tend to wake up tired. A body at rest tends to stay at rest. It would also explain how I can get into a groove, particularly at work, and I’ll want to keep going. And when it’s time to go to bed, regardless of how tired I am, I’ll struggle to fall asleep. A mind in motion tends to stay in motion.

Not so with my wife. If she wants to sleep, she sleeps. It really is that simple. I wish I could do that.

She knows how to relax.

Related to the previous point, my brain is constantly running a mile a minute, hopping from one tangential thought to the next in a never-ending stream of consciousness. I’d like to relax, but I don’t know how. I’m always working on something, even if only in my mind’s eye.

By contrast, she can lounge blissfully on the couch, casually shopping online or watching one of her favorite shows on her tablet. She knows how to set everything aside, if only momentarily, and unwind.

She is calm under pressure.

You know how they say cooler heads will prevail? That’s my wife. She’s the cooler head. Me, I worry. I worry about a lot of things, some more justified than others. I’m constantly at unease with a frenetic anxious energy. Pressure makes me uncomfortable.

But not her. She just goes about her business and does what she needs to do. I don’t think I’ve ever seen her frazzled. If she’s stressing, she doesn’t show it.

She knows her way around the kitchen.

If you’ve been following me on social media for any length of time, then you might be familiar with the #KwansCreativeCatering hashtag. My home cooking philosophy is decidedly simple and mostly utilitarian in nature. Maybe that’s why I love eating out so much.

She hasn’t had any formal training, but there’s no way you’d guess that based on the amazing food she creates. Homemade sushi, banana bread, matcha cookies, prime rib, three cup chicken… the list goes on and on. With a dash of Pinterest for inspiration, she can whip up practically anything.

She is impossibly patient and selfless.

I hate waiting in line for almost anything and I am quick to frustration. I’m trying to learn to be more patient, but it’s a struggle. And strive as I might to the contrary, I inevitably think about what’s in it for me. How can this benefit me.

She gives so much of herself without asking for anything in return. Maybe this is a reflection of her incredibly calm and caring demeanor. Maybe that’s why she makes such a terrific mom.

I envy my wife, because she is everything I am not. And I love her for it.