It’s been a hectic week and, as per usual, I feel like I am constantly playing a game of catch-up. As I evaluate my to-do list at the end of each day, I can’t help but to feel disappointed in myself. Look at all those items left unticked. Look at all those tasks that have been pushed from one day to the next, because there is always a “tomorrow” and very few of them really have to be done “today.”
This is coming from both a personal and a professional perspective. We told ourselves that we would get our Santa pictures done early this year, but we left it to the last minute, only getting around to it yesterday. We told ourselves that we would finally buy a proper Christmas tree this year, but we didn’t put up any decorations at all. I told myself that I would get started on this review, that article, and that other project weeks ago, and yet they all remain on the ever-growing to-do list. There’s just never any time.
And I feel horrible about it. And then I feel horribly guilty about feeling horribly guilty. This is a tremendously dangerous and hurtful meta game I’m playing. There is always more to do and never enough time, energy or sanity to do it. Personal time conflicts with work time (and vice versa). There is always a sacrifice to be made.
But sometimes, you get these little glimmers of insight that help put it all in perspective. As I was wasting away on Facebook yet again, I saw a post from my blogging friend Tamara Goyette. You might know her from Discovering Parenthood. She wrote, “I hope you take some time away from blogging and enjoy the season with the ones you love.”
Take some time away from blogging? That’s just blasphemous, isn’t it?
But is it really? For years, I dedicated myself to publishing a new post on this blog each and every day. More recently, I decided that it can be every other day… but then I missed Tuesday and Wednesday of this week. That’s two days in a row with no new content. I felt ashamed, but these rules are all quite arbitrary. And breaking them (or at least bending them) can be justified.
There are two reasons why I was unable to put up a new blog post yesterday. First, I was positively drained the night before. I could have thrust the “third shift” upon me, but I knew the resulting content would likely be quite dreadful. So, I took an early night, read a little and went to bed. Second, I was unable to write the post in the morning because we spent that time getting Santa pictures instead.
I don’t know about you, but the quality time spent and memories made with my daughter are likely more valuable than just one of the over 3,000 posts (and counting) on this blog. I probably won’t even remember missing yesterday’s post, but I’d definitely regret skipping a year of Santa photos. That’s just non-negotiable.
Or I’m just making excuses again.
While I cannot be certain about how much time I’ll actually take away from blogging, I do need to remind myself to enjoy the season with the ones I love. Family time is invaluable and I mustn’t forget it. The lines may get blurred, like in my most recent vlog where a “personal time” visit manifested into a “professional” creation, but that’s okay. As long as I get that personal time.
So, this has to do with the post from earlier this week about rules….
I’m reading a book on in my Kindle App on my iPhone called “The ONE Thing” which talks about lost productivity from trying to do multiple things and multitasking. While I believe that it contains a lot of great things, the one thing we have as human beings is a lot of things going on at the same time.
My opinion/advice that follows Michael comes from 12 years of being a parent and adding 2 children along the way after Camille was born. With way too many things to do you have to prioritize whats important to you. Family should always be first, but lets think about that in terms of you need to do your job some times to be looking out for your family. Big tip here is NEVER EVER miss the play at school, the star student awards, the teddy bear picnic, etc. Those are priority number 1.
To Do list should contain Number 1 family for the day and 2 other things scheduled when you have time that doesn’t interfere with #1. One of the two things not family should be a work item that is important and the other item is called bonus. If you get he bonus done great, if not it moves to the important for the next day.
You talked about seeing Santa for pictures and the tree and waiting to the last minute. Those are Family #1’s that you need to make the time for. Our family always and I mean ALWAYS goes for the tree and decorating either the Saturday after American Thanksgiving or the next weekend depending on family discussion of what else we need to do. There are no other times, we decide as a family which weekend and we go when scheduled. That is a tradition that there is no compromise.
The same with Santa, although we do not do pictures with Santa anymore. We go the week before Christmas when I am off from School no questions asked, with nothing getting higher priority to take its place.
You saw the picture on Facebook of the kids just before they went to sit with Santa to tell him what they want for Christmas, but we don’t pay for pictures. We use that money on a family dinner together that night at a nice restaurant. It’s much more fun and we get to take our own pictures, as many as we want of all of us smiling, having fun and creating memories as a family. Another family tradition that I hope lasts even after the kids are grown up.
So, overall I think you do family things first, cut the To Do list down to 2 other items that only 1 needs to be done and other is bonus. If all else fails just throw the To Do list out the window and just enjoy your family. You will never go wrong with that decision.
Thanks for the input and advice, Ray. You’re a good friend. The truth is that it’s simply not possible to have just one or two items on my to-do list, as I typically juggle more than a half dozen clients at any time. Each task can vary in length from 10 minutes to a couple of hours (or more), so it really depends. Not all items are weighed the same.
And on the note of the Santa pictures, the mall where we went doesn’t “charge” for pictures. It’s simply a donation in kind to a charity (minimum $2) and you get sent a digital copy for whatever you want to do. I think it’s a great system, but it draws quite the crowd!
I wish we still had that type of Santa visits here. All the Mall Santa’s are pay for pictures, minimum of $15 for small set. You can’t even take your own when you buy a set. That’s why we save any cost and just do the sit with Santa.
I wish you and your beautiful family the best holiday and a very happy new year.
Most of the malls here charge. Typical packages start around $10-12 or so.
I totally understand. I have actually taken a bit of an unplanned break because I felt like I was burning out. I needed to spend time with my guys, and my mom and my friends. I needed to focus on myself. Blogging is important but if I am burned out the writing is going to suck.
It sounds like you need to give yourself a break and remind yourself of what the most important things are. Take a break if you need to. There is no shame in that at all.