It’s inevitable. Whenever you go into business for yourself, whether it be opening up a floral shop or trying your hand at some freelance writing, you will encounter someone in your life who expects to get a discount because they already know you. Also called the “friends and family” discount, they fully expect that you won’t charge your regular rate. Why would you? We’re friends, right?
On some level, this can be perceived as true. Whenever family came to visit the restaurant that my family owned, it was understood that they wouldn’t have to pay for their meals. We are close and it is a part of the mutual generosity, assuming that we would be provided with the same courtesy should the tables be turned.
For instance, I didn’t pay for the portraits that my cousin took of me. There is one very critical distinction here though: my cousin extended the offer to me and I accepted. This is vastly different from a random family member or friend approaching the service provider, whether it be me as the freelance writer or my cousin as the professional photographer, and fully assuming to get a discount. Or even not pay at all.
I’m willing to do some small things for close family members and friends for free, but I expect the same courtesy to be extended back to me in kind. The challenge, then, lies in determining who should get the “friends and family” discount and who shouldn’t. This can be a very touchy subject.
Friends who I have known for years, having grown up with them in school and hung out with them after school, can ask for favors from me, just as I can ask favors from them. On the flip side, a casual acquaintance that I met one time at a trade show two years ago likely will not get the same treatment. I think that’s fair. At the same time, I reserve the right to pick and choose the projects I take.
For all the freelancers, consultants, and other self-employed individuals in the audience, how do you handle the friends and family discount? Do you offer “a deal” to just about anyone? Are you steadfast with your standard rates?
I come at this from a different perspective. For me, I am still younger and just launching my career while finishing up school. Being new to business and taking on more expenses, I have to be tight with my money so when it comes to projects I find myself at the mercy of family and friends to help out sometimes. As you point out, I do not come to the bargaining table empty handed. I try to exchange something of value in return or keep it in mind to return the favour when I can. However, I try to keep this to a minimum and spend a little here and there, even when I know friends or family would help out. This is because this fine line can be the cause of bitterness, especially when you mix business with family and friends. Just as it is bad to be known as the mooch or freeloader, being generous and not knowing when to say no (even to friends and family) can be harmful to your work or business as well.
One of the most important things to remember is that family is always there for you and at some point you should be there for them. That doesn’t mean letting them take advantage of you. The same goes for friends. The help that I given in virus removal remotely is worth a good days work, but it is worth it in good will to my friends.
It’s always good to also have some from of Pro bono work. It helps the good will of your business to help somewhere in the public sector for free at some point. Not only does it make you feel good, it helps someone who otherwise would have not been able to and it lends your name to being a good person. That one thing can land you 10 times the paid business.
I think it depends on what is at stake if you don’t offer the discount and you understand that will not please them.
There are two kinds of such projects from your friends and family members. If they are “personal”, you should be very happy to help them. However, if they are “professional” and will be used for profits or any other good gains, you must charge them, a regular fee!
Good boys and girls will take advantage of their friends.
Sorry for my poor proofreading. Not like me. Please delete my previous comment.
I think it depends on what is at stake if you don’t offer the discount and you understand that will not please them.
There are two kinds of such projects from your friends and family members. If they are “personal”, you should be very happy to help them for free. However, if they are “professional” and will be used for profits or any other gains, you must charge them, a regular fee!
Good boys and girls will not take advantage of their friends.
I think that it all depends on what your family or friends want you to do and the time and amount of work that it would take.
I have my own computer repair business and if a friend wanted me to fix something as simple as removing a virus, then I would do it for free.
But, if the same person wanted me to build them a high powered rig and order all the parts, then I would have to charge for the amount of time invested. To me, my time is really valuable!
I had a friend that wanted me to put up a WordPress Blog for him and setup everything for free. He wanted me to make it so that people could download his music and everything.
However, he does not understand the amount of time that goes into undertaking such a task. There is a lot of work involved with putting up a site and getting it looking right. For me, with all of the other things that I got going on in my life, it can take around a month to get things looking right.
Needless to say, I didn’t take him up on his offer!
Jason, I also am in the computer business and I believe you are copping out on the high end system and the blog by saying your time is valuable.
All of our time is valuable, but there are other considerations when doing something like building a high end computer. No one would ask you to order parts and expect you to pay for them. Also, I know of that anyone that had a request for a system would never ask for me to build it for free. I would discount the price because realistically the time it takes to build a computer when I have all the parts is not as long as it to properly clean a virus.
As for the blog, I can make a WordPress blog in less than 2 hours on a hosted system. Adding content would not be the obligation of the friend. I will show them how to do it, but I won’t do it for them.
You can use both as part of your resume. Good will overcomes any value in your time. A good word goes a long way. I have gotten ten fold the business for just doing a good job and treating a customer correctly. With Pro Bono work I have gotten the money back that I didn’t get for the work 1000 fold.
I agree. Maintaining a long-term business, family or friend relationship is a long-term thing. Focusing on one-time, short-time loss and gains is out of perspective.
Great thing you have that business strategy in mind when it comes to family and friends discounts but guess what? There are also a lot to learn when it comes to dealing with the dilemma you get to have especially when those discounts are no longer giving you any benefit. Here’s a video that I recommend you watch about family and friends discount and how to deal it. http://marieforleo.com/2012/02/friends-family-discount-dilemma/