Over the weekend, we may have witnessed a possible social suicide on Twitter. A battle of words broke out between two individuals with different opinions and this quickly escalated to a series of personal attacks. Given the public nature of Twitter, everyone who was following these two individuals was able to track their “conversation.” Also, because it was online, this war of words will be forever archived on the Internet. There is no way that either of these individuals will be able to deny that their fight ever happened.
In the interest of diplomacy, I’m not going to mention the exact identities of the two people involved in the online spat, but it wouldn’t be too difficult for you to find out on your own. As the personal attacks continued streaming through the Twittersphere, I began to think about what would have been the proper way to deal with the situation. Morten Rand-Hendriksen agreed and we decided to create this list of rules for Twitter etiquette. While these guidelines focus on Twitter, they can easily apply to other social networking platforms like Facebook and public forums too.
1. Avoid Personal Attacks At All Times
If you want me to follow you on Twitter, I want to see that you are a mature and civilized individual. If you go around spouting insults, spewing racist slurs, and otherwise attacking other Twitter users, you’ll quickly find yourself shouting into a black hole. No one will want to hear what you have to say. There’s nothing wrong with having a controversial opinion, but you should be discussing the issues in a calm and mature manner. Attack the issue, not the person.
2. Keep the Personal Vendettas Out of the Public Sphere
When you are in a nice restaurant, it is inappropriate to get into a shouting match with your dinner companion. This ruins the dining experience for the other patrons. This shows a complete and utter lack of class. If you have a conflict with someone, work it out in private. Interacting on Twitter is no different than interacting in any other public place. Take the fight to email, instant messenger, or a phone call instead. Resolve your issues there, because you never know who may be listening in on your war on Twitter.
3. Respect the Opinions of Others
Not everyone is going to agree with you all of the time. This is a fact of life. Whether you posed the question yourself or someone chimed in on their own, respect the opinions of others. This doesn’t mean that you have to agree with what they have to say, but it does mean that you should respect their right to say it. Going back to the first point, feel free to debate the issue, stating your case and why you feel the way that you do. That’s fine, but you should never escalate the debate to personal attacks.
4. Do Not Tweet While Intoxicated
When you are under the influence of alcohol or you are feeling particularly emotional, it is perhaps best to unplug from the matrix. If you’ve had more than a few drinks, there’s a good chance that you’ll say something you don’t really mean or express something that you’ll regret later on. You are not calm. You are not composed. When you are drunk, don’t grab your iPhone and start tweeting out your hatred of everyone and everything. This is social suicide; it’s like running toward a group of police officers waving around a loaded gun.
5. Get Out of the “Bar Fight” Mentality
Don’t pick a fight with the peacemaker. With the spat that happened over the weekend, one of the individuals went on to insult, attack, or belittle anyone who chose to get involved. Some of these people were simply trying to tell them to calm down or take the battle to a private arena. They were trying to help. They were trying to prevent the social suicide. In short, they were trying to be good Samaritans and peacekeepers, but in doing so, they entered the line of fire. If you are having a disagreement with someone online, don’t automatically assume that anyone else who gets involved is against you or out to get you. They could just be trying to put out the fire.
For Rules Six Through Ten…
For the other five rules of Twitter etiquette, hop on over to Design is Philosophy, the blog of Pink & Yellow Media’s Morten Rand-Hendriksen.
Naturally, the days I spend so little time on Twitter are the days I miss the exciting stuff. 😉
I find the exciting stuff happens whenever I’m not near the screen… such as the case this time because I didn’t hear anything about it until now.
I have TweetDeck loaded whenever I have the computer on, while I have TweetBerry on the Curve.
Point 4 – I’m sure we have all text someone / said something to others when intoxicated which you regret in the morning, even if its just something embarrasing! So why would you take that to the world! Surely thatis the greatest form of social suicide…
Being diabetic I can’t drink so I don’t have that problem. I have the blood sugar being too high and making me fuzzy. That is why when I feel that I shut it down and check the blood sugar, eat and make sure I have taken my meds.
Very good post Michael. I believe that you skipped one important point that most people don’t realise when using IM, Twitter or any social netowrking site. That point would be that eventhough you are behind a computer and the other person can’t see you, it doesn’t mean that you are isolated.
Think of it like being in your car, you feel that you are in your own world with all that steel and glass between you and the world, but everyone can see you, see your reactions, see everything. Gestures, mouthed words, looks, the road rage can all be seen. The analogy applies to the computer and interacting with others in close to realtime. You are being seen for what you say, the inflection of your grammar and form of your written words.
The same type of courtesy is needed no matter if you are in person or on the computer. You can be seen, even behind your words.
The two individuals are obviously using their rage to engage each other and resulted in good Samaritans suffering collateral damage.
Any pun intended in your very last sentence of pt.5 to the fiery crisis in Australia?
No intended pun, no.
Hey, these are some good tips…especially the one regarding alcohol!
I like the way you guys cleverly split the rules to drive traffic to each other’s sites.
There’s an option in Gmail that you can turn on that will ask you multiple times if you’re sure you want to send an e-mail. You can have it set to only ask you during certain hours, as to help you in the event that you’re drunk and may regret it later.
I’ve heard of that…actually, I posted about it…perhaps a feature like that needs to be integrated for Twitter?
I think the rules of building good relationship in offline world are still valid in online social community.
Add to that: Don’t be a Spammer!
It’s amazing how much I’m getting spammed on Twitter lately. A lot of auto direct messages and such. It’s annoying!
I missed this, too (though I can’t say I am sad to have missed out on drama). People tend to not “think” when they’re online. As if having the computer in front of them means they have a magical shield of sorts…
I like how people act tough online and then when you meet them in person they’re completely shy and hardly say a thing. lol
I think that the online atmosphere just makes people more open for some reason or other… or maybe it’s just the written word?
It’s definitely the online atmosphere and the ability to remain anonymous without the fear or repercussions (in most cases.)
I’m not so sure that it’s even the anonymity provided. I’ve seen many cases were people will use non-anonymous mediums (facebook and IM for example) and say things that they would never dream of saying in person.
They are behind the safety of their computer. Real life meetings change a persons tune quickly. If I get excited, I write it down, walk away, come back after doing something else and rewrite. I can then either send the rewrite that is much more reasonable or I can delete it as not worth it.
I’ve drafted a few e-mails while I was angry, and 90% of the time I wouldn’t send them afterward, or rewrite them to not sound as much of a tool. 🙂