This past weekend went by faster than a teenager on methamphetamines for me. More often that not, I try to enjoy my days off by sleeping until noon, relaxing in front of the boob tube, and maybe heading out for a game of tennis or two. Of course, playing my Nintendo DS Lite is usually factored into the equation as well. This past weekend, however, was quite different. Want to find out about my (mis)adventures? Then keep reading…


It was my cousin’s stag party on Saturday and it was an all-day event. I partook in two-third’s of the day’s festivities, skipping out on the ubiquitous strip bar / lap dance portion. I know, I know, I should have gone, but I was dead tired and… wait, I don’t need to explain myself to you, so I’ll just stop there.

Anyways, the day started by meeting at my cousin’s place so that we could carpool to event number one: Panther Paintball in South Surrey. The drive from Lougheed Highway and Willingdon Avenue to the location took us a full 40-45 minutes, much longer than I was expecting, considering we were only a hop and a skip away for the Trans Canada Highway as he embarked on our journey. Upon arrival, we signed our lives away with a waiver form, taking on full responsibility for the following four hours. If one of us happened to get hurt, Panther Paintball would have no legal obligation to really do anything. Great. Just great.

I knew that I was probably going to be in for a world of pain, and it certainly didn’t help that the sun was beaming down on us all day. It was pretty darn hot in those coveralls that they provided (better than getting my own clothes dirty though, that’s for sure). Taking in the big picture, I think I got away much “cleaner” than most of the other 16 participants, as they displayed their “battle wounds” with pride. Oozing welts were nothing out of the ordinary; the groom — my cousin — even got shot in the neck at one point.

I ended up with two smaller bruises / welts on my right arm, and a larger one in the middle of my back. The husband-to-be, however, got lit up like a Christmas tree with several “marks” up and down his back, chest, stomach, arms, and that one glorious-looking one on his neck.

It was like playing Counterstrike, except for real (well, sort of). I operated mostly in “stealth” mode during the eight or nine games that we played (interestingly, “Capture the Flag” — the prototypical paintball game — was missing from our day; no reason or explanation was given). Rolling around in the forest with a full goggle-mask (that inevitably fogged up, impairing everyone’s vision), donning full camouflage gear, and pelting one another with exploding plastic balls… As violent and beastly as the “game” may sound, it is an awful lot of fun.

The most interesting game we played was the Gauntlet. Poor Quincy, my cousin, was disarmed and thrown into the playing field while the rest of us stood in a line, paintball guns cocked and aimed, ready to cover his clothes in exploding green paint. His goal was to run from one end of the field to the other, but he only made it about halfway before he called it quits. Understandably, he was shot at least 10 times (probably many more) while trying to transverse across the course, jumping from barrier to barrier.

“Terminator”, “Head Shots Only”, and “The Pain Game” were some of the other highlights. Good times… too bad I couldn’t see most of the time, thanks to the foggy goggles.

I’ll check in again later tonight or maybe tomorrow with part two, covering the dinner at Chilli House Thai Bistro.