First of all, I’d like to wish everyone a happy and safe Halloween. You know what would be really spooky? What would be really scary and terribly eerie? The thing that would frighten me the most is if I finally crack the deplorable NFL football pick performance that I’ve been enduring lately. Wouldn’t it be so creepy if I got all of my picks right this week? Maybe not. But it’d be nice. On with the football!

New York Jets at Buffalo Bills (-5.5)
Although the Bills lost to the Dolphins last week, I still think that they are a solid team and should be able to handle Brett Favre and the Jets in this battle for New York supremacy. Um, let’s leave the Super Bowl champs out of the New York battle for now.
Pick: Buffalo

Detroit Lions at Chicago Bears (-12.5)
The Lions have absolutely no chance of winning this game, but a nearly two touchdown spread is pretty huge. Kyle Orton has the potential. I hope he can pull through for me.
Pick: Chicago

Jacksonville Jaguars (-7.5) at Cincinnati Bengals
Get this. A Bengal wide receiver is mouthing off in the media again, but it’s not Ocho Cinco. Instead, it’s T. J. Houshmandzadeh who has guaranteed that Cincinnati won’t go 0-16 this season. Unfortunately for T.J., the first win isn’t coming against the Jaguars of Jacksonville.
Pick: Jacksonville

Baltimore Ravens at Cleveland Browns (-1.5)
I’m actually quite surprised that the Browns are favored in this game, because the Ravens have shown time and time again that they can bring it when it counts. Bring it, Ray Lewis. Bring the hammer down.
Pick: Baltimore

Tampa Bay Buccaneers (-8.5) at Kansas City Chiefs
Fighting through the NFC South, the Bucs have managed to hold their quite well. The Chiefs, by contrast, really bring nothing to the table. I’m not sure if Tampa will win by more than a touchdown, but I’m hopeful.
Pick: Tampa Bay

Houston Texans at Minnesota Vikings (-4.5)
The Texans have shown me something this year. I still think of Houston as an expansion team in its “growing” stages, but if it weren’t for the tough AFC South division (Indy, Jacksonville, and Tennessee), I think the Texans would have a better record than their current 3-4. I foresee an upset here.
Pick: Houston

Arizona Cardinals (-2.5) at St. Louis Rams
The Cards aren’t great, but they’re head and shoulders above the Rams.
Pick: Arizona

Green Bay Packers at Tennessee Titans (-5.5)
Can Aaron Rodgers slow down the seemingly unstoppable Tennessee Titans? After battling back against the Colts last week, the Titans demonstrated that they can not only build a lead, but they can also overcome a deficit. Let’s keep this undefeated streak going.
Pick: Tennessee

Miami Dolphins at Denver Broncos (-2.5)
Denver has the worst defence in the league, but they’ve also got one of the most promising quarterbacks in Jay Cutler. Miami stunned Buffalo last week, but their offence will struggle at Mile High. Don’t expect much in terms of defence from either squad.
Pick: Denver

Dallas Cowboys at New York Giants (-8.5)
This is a must win for the Cowboys and I know that they’re going to have some trouble with the defending Super Bowl champions. Tony Romo, Terrell Owens, and the rest of the Dallas crew certainly have their hands full. Even if they don’t come out on top, I don’t think the Giants are going to trounce them by more than 9 points.
Pick: Dallas

Atlanta Falcons (-2.5) at Oakland Raiders
Matt Ryan has been quite impressive lately and the Falcons’ surprise ascension in the NFL ranks should continue with a victory over the hopeless Raiders of Oakland.
Pick: Atlanta

Philadelphia Eagles (-6.5) at Seattle Seahawks
Qwest Field may be one of the most difficult stadiums for visiting teams, but the Seahawks are injury-ridden and increasingly disorganized. Philly’s not exactly on the rise, but it’ll stride over the ‘hawks.
Pick: Philadelphia

New England Patriots at Indianapolis Colts (-5.5)
This is always one of the most hotly anticipated games of the year. They’re always great, but this year’s game is a little deflating with the ongoing struggles of the Colts and the lack of the Tom Brady for the Pats. This could really go either way and it’s really a must-win for the Colts if they hope to make the playoffs as a wild card. It’ll be tight, so I’ll take the conservative route and opt for the slight underdog. This way, if the Colts win in a tight one, I’ll still be right.
Pick: New England

Pittsburgh Steelers at Washington Redskins (-1.5)
I’ve been impressed the Redskins, despite some of their pitfalls over the course of year. Monday Night should be a good game and I’m going to lean toward the home team.
Pick: Washington

When you work with very limited supervision (as is the case with freelance writing), it’s important that you do your best to stay on track. Earlier this month, I wrote about the value of redundant to-do lists and how these to-do lists can ensure that you stay focused on the task(s) at hand.

You have to take on a certain level of responsibility, but as I mentioned in that article, to-do lists are not for everyone and they’re far from perfect motivators. In fact, depending on your disposition, using to-do lists could be the worst thing you could do for yourself. Allow me to explain why you should avoid to-do lists.

Less Talking, More Doing

This applies more to people who work from home or run their own businesses, but it is also applicable to people who hold regular jobs as well.

When you are working on tasks that take up non-billable hours, like completing invoices and looking for more gigs, you are taking time away from what could be billable hours. You don’t make money (directly) from non-billable tasks. For example, if you work eight hours a day and you spend four of those on administrative tasks, you’re only earning four hours of income. By contrast, if you can shave those admin hours down to just two, then you can effectively spend that “extra” two hours working on something that actually makes money.

With this in mind, to-do lists can prove to a huge time-waster. You could easily spend an inordinate amount of time ensuring that your to-do lists are constantly updated and accurate. This is particularly true if you maintain redundant to-do lists, because each time you complete a task, you have to mark it as completed on multiple lists. Stop wasting time on tasks that don’t make money. Take a break instead.

Doing What I Want to Do?

The best kinds of to-do lists are organized one of two ways. They can either be organized based on priority level or based on due date. In either case, your clients’ projects always reach the top of the heap, because they are usually “more important” and due sooner. Looking at these kinds of to-do lists, you will quickly see that your own personal ventures fall further and further down the list.

Taking the example of a freelance writer who also wants to pen his own book, you’ll find that this person will continue to focus on the paying projects of his customers rather than spending the time that he needs to complete his own book. What about your own ambitions? To-do lists can stunt their growth. Furthermore, to-do lists can be a source of guilt when you want to partake in some leisure activities, like playing Guitar Hero.

A Sense of Futility

Perhaps the single greatest reason why you should avoid making to-do lists is because they can cause a great sense of futility. It’s like fighting an uphill battle that cannot possibly end. Yes, it can be incredibly satisfying to strike something off your to-do list. This could give a great sense of accomplishment. By the same accord, there will never be a point in time where the to-do list is completely completed and, thus, there will never be a point in time where you can say that you are totally finished. You’re always on duty, because there is always something that “must” be done.

Worse yet, if you set out a daily or weekly to-do list, there’s a good chance that you won’t be able to complete all the items on the list within the prescribed timeline. The false sense of urgency can help increase productivity, but it can also cause a lot of mental strain and burnout. It’s futile. No matter how hard you try, the list will never end, because you’re constantly adding new items to it.

If you’re the kind of the person that gets hung up on things like this, maybe to-do lists aren’t such a good idea. Alternatively, you just have to think about to-do lists in a different way. They should serve as a guideline and not as a constant reminder of your utter futility.

Sometimes I try to come up with a theme for What’s Up Wednesdays. Last week, for example, I focused on making money. Other times, it’s just a random compilation of posts that I found in the blogosphere and today’s edition clearly falls into the latter category. It’s hump day, so hopefully at least one of these posts will help you get over this hump (and get you ready for Halloween).

Damien Riley always has something interesting to say, whether it be about making money online or some random person from the past. I used to follow tennis religiously during the heydays of Pete Sampras, Michael Chang, and Martina Hingis. Going even further back in history, you find the crazy personality of John McEnroe, a man that Damien highlights in one of his recent posts. John’s tantrums are great for TV.

Roger Ebert may not be on television anymore, but he’s still very active in expressing his opinion. This expression is not only limited to movies, but also to the integrity of a reviewer. He has compiled a number of rules to doing movie reviews, but these rules can easily apply to writing and blogging in general.

Sally Chow may only be two years old, but it seems like she already has some potential career aspirations. Oh, you thought she was going to grow up to be a dot com mogul like her dad John Chow? Wrong! She’d much rather be a professional dancer. Watch her rock out to America’s Best Dance Crew.

Chris Bibey is a fellow freelance writer who I respect very much. He asks you to consider what is your greatest strength as a freelance writer. Believe it or not, freelance writers may not necessarily be.the best of writers, perhaps selling themselves based on their marketing ability or level of expertise instead. I agree that you should focus on your strengths.

Stephen Fung does more than buy scooters and impersonate Japanese businessmen. He’s also quite the whiz in the kitchen, producing a world class sea bass dish. Surf around his blog and you’ll discover other editions of the Dot Com Kitchen too.

Want to be featured in a future edition of What’s Up Wednesdays? Make sure you follow me on Twitter!

Just as many people have trouble differentiating between affect and effect, a common error concerns the difference between less and fewer. It certainly doesn’t help that “respected” organizations like Walmart and Safeway make mistakes with less and fewer all the time, further exacerbating the prevalence of bad grammar.

Do you know the difference between less and fewer? Do you know why the express checkout lane at supermarkets should read “10 items or fewer” rather than the much more common “10 items or less“? Is it more correct to say that you should wear less clothes or fewer clothes?

You Can Count with Fewer

Generally speaking, you would use “fewer” when you are referring to items that are quantifiable. For example, you could say that I had fewer correct predictions in Week 8 than I did in previous weeks in the NFL. You could also say that Beyond the Rhetoric has fewer RSS subscribers than John Chow dot Com. The number of predictions and the number of RSS subscribers can be counted pretty easily.

You Don’t Count with Less

On the flip side, “less” is used when referring to items that either cannot be counted or are typically not counted. For instance, you could say that using Purolator Courier results in less customer satisfaction than using Fedex. You wouldn’t count the number of “customer satisfactions” when making this comparison.

Where it gets a little more confusing is when you start looking at items that can be counted, but we still use the word “less” rather than “fewer”. A great example of this is rice. You would say that Stephen ate less rice than Ed and not that Stephen ate fewer rice than Ed. While it is possible to quantify the amount of rice consumed (number of grains, amount of weight, etc.), we still use “less” and not “fewer”.

A Simple Test to Choose Between Less and Fewer

I have a very simple test that can help you determine whether it is more appropriate to use “less” or “fewer”. If the noun “sounds right” with a number, then you should probably use “fewer”. If the noun “sounds wrong” with a number, then you should probably use “less.”

Going back to the example of rice, it sounds incorrect to say that Leo has three rices. It would sound correct, however, to say that Leo has three bowls of rice. “Bowl” is quantifiable and can be associated with a number. “Rice” cannot. This is the same reason why you would say that Julie has less money than Jane, but Julie has fewer dollars than Jane.

Make sense? If you have any questions concerning the difference between less and fewer, feel free to ask me through the comment form below. Do you understand now why express checkouts at supermarkets should use “10 items or fewer” now? This may make them sound like elitists though, so that’s why some markets now have signs that read “up to 10 items” instead.

Going into this week in the NFL, I tried my best to stay as optimistic as possible. Unfortunately, words cannot describe just how frustrated I am. The graph is pretty self-explanatory.

The Monday Night Football game between the still undefeated Tennessee Titans and the formerly glorious Indianapolis Colts was particularly frustrating, because the Colts unnecessarily “went for it” on fourth down (unsuccessfully). This resulted in a scoring frenzy from the Titans, Even though Kerry Collins did not throw a single touchdown pass, Tennessee came out on top. Sigh.

It’s a little hard to believe that it’s been four years since I read and reviewed Marty Beckerman’s last book, Generation S.L.U.T.: A Brutal Feel-up Session with Today’s Sex-Crazed Adolescent Populace. Combining real world statistics with a brilliant fictional narrative, Generation S.L.U.T. was brash, abrasive, and strangely insightful. You can read more about that book through my review on The Commentary. Yes, I was even writing for websites back in 2004.

Following up on the success of Generation S.L.U.T., Marty Beckerman now turns his attention to the culture war and political game in the United States with Dumbocracy: Adventures with the Loony Left, the Rabid Right, and Other American Idiots. He hung out with extremists on both ends of the political spectrum and dissected their outlandish perspectives. Too bad he decided not to keep the original title: Retard Nation.

Just as I interviewed Marty Beckerman four years ago, I do it again with Dumbocracy now on store shelves. Enjoy!

Beyond the Rhetoric: In Dumbocracy, you expose the hypocrisies of both sides of the political spectrum, but there appear to be more attacks on conservative views than liberal ones. Is this more a result of your own political leanings or is it simply a response to the resurgence in right-wing thinking in the United States?

Marty Beckerman: Ideally I’d keep the attacks 50/50 for the sake of iconoclasm—and I hope I did—but the American Right has become a vicious, unthinking coalition of bigots and religious fundamentalists who seek to destroy the Bill of Rights and possibly the world. Anyone with a brain has abandoned the stinking carcass of the Republican Party; there is no credible intellectual defense of the GOP.

The pendulum has swung dangerously far to the right in the last decade, and it’s time for it to come back to the center. There are extremists on both ends of the spectrum—one side wants America to be more like Cuba, the other side wants America to be more like Saudi Arabia—but most Americans are moderates, and we are sick of hearing that if we disagree with the Republican Party, we either hate God or the troops or unborn babies.

Granted, I hate babies—have you ever been stuck on an airplane with one?—but the Republican Party is far more deserving of “abortion.” What a bunch of douche bags.

BTR: Seeing how you grew up in Alaska, I have to ask you about Sarah Palin. Is there something inherently disturbing about a potential vice-president that winks and says things like “you betcha”?

MB: The folksiness isn’t disturbing—it’s merely annoying—but it is disturbing how she’s a pathological liar who believes half of Americans aren’t “pro-America,” and genuinely seems proud of her own stupidity. She can’t name a single Supreme Court decision besides Roe v. Wade, she can’t name a single publication she reads, and then she blames the “elitists” for looking down on regular people. Guess what, Sarah? The president of the United States should not be a regular person; he or she should be an exceptional person with exceptional intelligence and exceptional judgment.

Going back to Palin’s mayoral days, she fires anyone who disagrees with her or simply airs a dissenting opinion. She is Bush with a bush. She is the darkness in Plato’s cave personified, which is a reference she would probably need explained to her.

BTR: Just as in Generation S.L.U.T., Dumbocracy pulls information from a number of legitimate and pseudo-legitimate news sources. In fact, there are over 800 sources named. A bit much for a non-university textbook? Does this take away from Dumbocracy as casual reading?

MB: As for “pseudo-legitimate news sources,” I tried to fact-check every story I cited, relied heavily on mainstream publications, and spent a ludicrous amount of time in the library ensuring the quotes I found on the Internet actually existed in old books and periodicals. As for the research, Dumbocracy is very fun. There are jokes on every page—it’s hardly academic—and I did my best to balance the shocking facts and the shocking humor. I’d definitely call it a casual read. I wrote it for people my age, for crying out loud, so a prodigious attention span is not exactly a prerequisite.

BTR: Speaking of Generation S.L.U.T., I remember you mentioning a Hollywood option that would see the book made into a movie? Did that ever happen?

MB: HBO Films hired a director and wrote a screenplay, but the option expired before they started filming. The screenplay had a few good elements, but overall didn’t do the book justice. The rights have reverted back to me, and I’d like to see it turned into a movie someday, but don’t hold your breath.

I have very mixed feelings about Generation S.L.U.T. these days. First of all, I’m completely embarrassed by the promotion I did for it… blaming feminism for casual sex is absurd. “Genitals and hormones” would have been a much more appropriate response to that question. I sounded like a puritanical, foaming-at-the-mouth right-winger, but also made a bunch of edgy jokes, and the combination actually seemed way more unnerving than I intended. I look back at those interviews and cringe, but I can’t change what I said, so I hope people understand I’ve mellowed since then. That’s how normal college guys talk, but most of them don’t have to answer for it years later.

The funny thing is that I had plenty of sex while writing the book—it was absolutely not an anti-sex tirade—but somehow I gave people that impression, which is going to haunt me for the rest of my life. Just a few weeks ago I was at a literary party here in New York, and a young lady asked if I was “the guy who wrote the book that said women shouldn’t have sex.” And I just wondered: Is that my reputation? Is that the rock I’ll live under forever?

Plus I’ve grown uncomfortable with the message of the book. First of all, novels shouldn’t have “messages,” or at least they shouldn’t have overt messages… if you must write moral fiction, take the subtle route instead of the preachy route. Secondly: mindless, anonymous, drunken casual sex is not the end of the world; it’s a pretty decent weekend.

But I was 19 when I wrote the book, and 19 is a very strident, earnest, melodramatic and preachy age. In its defense, S.L.U.T. captures the psychology of teenagers very honestly, and if I were to rewrite the book today, it wouldn’t be nearly as genuine. Yes, it would be considerably less melodramatic and infinitely less preachy, but it is what it is—it’s real—so I’m proud of that. Growing up is a bitch.

BTR: Some critics may say that you are trying too hard to offend in your book and it was written simply to get a rise out of people. For example, you say that lesbians are “filled with rage because they’ve never encountered a Man with the endurance, technique and flesh-span to stimulate their Siberia-like innards.” Your response?

MB: Whoa, whoa, I said bitter lesbians feel this way, not the hot ones.

Listen, I’m a humorist, satirist, comedian, whatever you want to call it—I make jokes for a living—and the best jokes tell a forbidden truth, or say something counter-intuitive about the human condition. Yes, I use profanity like most people use punctuation (as one reviewer said of my writing), but I have deeper motivations than to simply “get a rise out of people.”

I’ll let former U.S. Sen. Mike Gravel defend it for me: “Dumbocracy is a thoughtful book with great shock value geared to awaken, entertain and enlighten Marty’s generation about the freedoms embedded in our Bill of Rights. Beyond the spoofing, it is passionate, scholarly, and delivers the message that young people need to hear.”

BTR: Is the US democratic process broken? In Canada, we just went through a campaign and an election. It took about a month in all. By contrast, it took what seemed forever just to get through the primaries for the States. If the political process is too complex for the Average Joe to comprehend, can he still be expected to make an educated decision next month? Do special interest groups have too much power?

MB: The candidates must appeal to the crazy activists and lobbyists in the primaries before they run back to the center for the general election, and it’s a hugely corrupting process. Sen. John McCain, formerly the most centrist and beloved politician in America, has become a fascist parody of himself. He gleefully accepted the endorsement of a pastor who said Hurricane Katrina was God’s punishment for the sins of New Orleans. McCain used to oppose overturning Roe vs. Wade, but these days he labels the majority of Americans “pro-abortion” for being pro-choice. The man is an American hero, blah blah blah, but he sold his soul for power, which wouldn’t have been necessary if the mullahs didn’t control his party.

BTR: We’re raised in a society that is supposed to separate church and state, but when the Republicans call themselves God’s Official Party (GOP), doesn’t this create inherent problems? If it’s one nation under God, how do atheists fall into the mix?

MB: The Republicans love to wrap themselves in the flag, and claim they are the only patriotic citizens in the nation, but if you go back to America’s founding ideals—separation of church and state, freedom of speech, pursuit of happiness, equal rights under the law—it’s obvious that right-wingers are the least patriotic. Listen, I like the flag and I like the national anthem, but every country has a flag and an anthem. America is special because of the ideals we brought to the world, which are the exact same ideals right-wingers around the globe—whether they’re Republicans or the Taliban—want to crush.

BTR: You argue for the decriminalization of marijuana, because it has been shown that pot does not lead to increased crime or negative health effects. By taking on the War on Drugs, are you leading yourself down a slippery slope?

MB: Yes, there is a possibility that Americans might even—gasp!—get to legally drink alcohol between the ages of 18 and 21.

Making a vice illegal always—always—exacerbates its usage; it becomes a forbidden fruit, which tastes a whole lot better than mundane bullshit. Studies have shown that a “No Diving” sign at a swimming pool convinces far more people to dive. The best way to curb a behavior is to make it seem boring, not give it a mystique. But I’m a drunk, not a stoner, so I don’t really care too much.

BTR: Do you support gay marriage? Would “civil unions” better appease both ends of the political spectrum?

MB: If two gay dudes want to say they’re married, it doesn’t hurt me—and it won’t hurt my future family—so I don’t see any reason why I should vote to stop them. (For whatever reason, the majority of Americans support civil unions but oppose calling it “marriage,” even though the benefits are similar.) Right-wingers shove their religious beliefs down everyone’s throats, but hate the freedom of others to shove things down throats.

BTR: What is the single greatest issue facing America today? What will be the single greatest issue that will decide next month’s election?

MB: In the short run, our economic problems, which is why Americans are actually willing to vote for a Democrat this time around. Nobody cares if gay-married transsexuals are aborting their third-trimester fetuses while burning the flag, if none of us can afford food, and we’re cannibalizing one another for protein, and Mad Max has become reality. The Culture War doesn’t matter this year; we’re finally, finally, finally discussing reality.

In the long run, the greatest threat to America is the never-ending crusade against our greatest ideals: the freedom of speech, the pursuit of happiness, and the separation of church and state. At this moment in history the Right is far more dangerous than the Left—to be a moderate now is to be a liberal—but that could easily change in the next decade. Same bullshit, different day.

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Dumbocracy: Adventures with the Loony Left, the Rabid Right, and Other American Idiots can be found on Amazon.ca for $13.83. Be sure to visit Marty Beckerman’s own website at MartyBeckerman.com.