The other day, Yurecho reminded me of a post that explained political systems using a cow-ownership analogy. For example, a pure democracy is described as: “You have two cows. Your neighbors decide who gets the milk.”
This isn’t the first time that I’ve encountered this article, but it did serve as the inspiration for today’s post. It got me thinking, what if some of the biggest corporations and organizations were able to run the world?
I decided it might be interesting to explore this kind of analogy, seeing how each of these companies would manage your newfound bovine wealth. What better way to celebrate a Friday than with some thought-provoking and (hopefully) humorous discussion?
If Microsoft ruled the world…
You have two cows. Microsoft buys you out and takes your two cows, supplying every major supermarket and restaurant with all of their dairy needs. Every carton of milk comes bundled with free samples of cheese and yogurt, but the samples block the spout of the carton, causing the milk to pour out more slowly.
If Apple ruled the world…
You have two cows. Apple develops its own type of cows, packaging the milk in a brand new unibody aluminum carton. Apple sells the iMilk for ten times the going price of regular milk. You sue Apple for trademark infringement, claiming that you were patented the cow-and-milk product line.
If Google ruled the world…
You have two cows. Google tells you where is the closest place to buy milking products, the current market price for milk, and what everyone else thinks about milk. Based on your perusal and use of these services, Google owns your life and sells your surfing habits to advertisers of agriculture-related products.
If Linux ruled the world…
You have two cows. Your neighbor also has two cows. You both develop slightly different milking technology, but these innovations must be shared with the entire milking community at large. The community builds further on your early model. The milk is also shared with everyone else who has a Linux cow.
If Chrysler ruled the world…
You have two cows. You invent the most popular milk carton that is enough to feed a family of seven. Eventually, people are no longer interested in such big cartons, preferring the low-fat alternatives coming from Japan. You declare bankruptcy, selling one cow to the farm workers union and the other cow to an Italian dairy company.
Do you have a fun cow analogy to share? Feel free to share through the comment form below. Moooooo….
I love the analogies- sad, but true reflections on some of the bigger companies in the technology industry. Hopefully they can turn things around and keep their cows.