Disturbia with Shia LaBeouf

Normally, I’d go and provide you with a full review of a movie if I’m going to bother giving it a dedicated post, but I just can’t get myself to do that for Disturbia. There are so many things wrong with this movie and there isn’t all that much that’s “right” about it that would warrant even a rental.

Disturbia, starring Shia LaBeouf (you might remember him as Sam Witwicky from Transformers), is loosely based on Rear Window by Alfred Hitchcock. I never saw the original, but I’d imagine that it’s a heck of a lot better than this. The acting is lacklustre, the plot “twists” are far too predictable, and the “scary” serial killer in the movie isn’t even all that creepy. It’s got more cheese than Velveeta, and there are far too many elements that just don’t make sense. Like, c’mon… if you were to partake in some voyeurism and spy on your hot neighbor, would she really come over befriend and ultimately make out with you? Especially when your a total doofus like Shia LaBeouf (who plays Kale Brecht, some kid that goes under house arrest for decking his Spanish teacher). Please.

This isn’t the worst teen horror movie in the world, but that’s not saying much. The genre is filled with a whole lot of cheese, but I’d at least hope for a few thrilling moments and some over-the-top gore. Disturbia brings neither (although there are some pretty good “gross out” moments). There are two saving graces: Sarah Roemer, who plays the aforementioned hot neighbor, is pretty hot and Carrie-Anne Moss (Trinity from Matrix fame) actually does a good job playing the concerned single mother.

2 stars out of 5