In what has to be one of the worst name changes in the history of technology, Nintendo announced today that their next-generation console will hereby no longer be known as the Revolution. It’s not going to be called the “Go” as previously reported either. Instead, they’re going with “Wii”, pronounced “wee”.

Their justification is that the it sounds like “we”, as in “we can play video games together”, as in anyone can enjoy this home console, because it’s for everyone, the all inclusive “we”…er, Wii.

Furthermore, it is a bit of a nonsense word that can be “understood” in any language, unlike the English-centric Sony PlayStation, for example, and the two I’s in the name represent two RevMotes (I guess that name is going to change too. Wii-motes?)… uh, two controllers coming together to enjoy the revolutionary titles. Or even two people (get it? The dots on top of the i’s are heads, etc.) getting together for a gaming session.

The bad puns are inevitable, so I might as well try to get a few out of my system, before wii explode from the thoughts floating around in our dirty little minds. Wii just can’t stand it.

  • Hey, you want to come over to my house and play with my Wii?
  • I’ve been on this wait list for longer than I can remember! When will I be able to grab a Wii?
  • I just can’t put my Wii down, it’s so addicting.
  • Let’s connect our Wii’s together and have a little fun.
  • Wii are playing with our Wii’s, why don’t you join us and play with your Wii too?
  • Damn it, my Wii is broken, can I use yours?

This is stupid. I’m just going to come out and say it. Based on how the average person thinks, come this November (if everything goes according to plan), it will start to sound like everyone is either playing with Nintendo-branded urine or a penis. Greeaaat…..

Why couldn’t they just keep it as the Nintendo Revolution….